Poetry On Odyssey: My Anxiety, Personified

Poetry On Odyssey: My Anxiety, Personified

This is my attempt at expressing how it feels to be afraid of your own shadow.

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This is a piece written about how my anxiety makes me feel. I've been dealing with this demon for a majority of my life, and sometimes it becomes hard to put it entirely into words. This is my attempt at expressing how it feels to be afraid of your own shadow.

My Anxiety, Personified

The crook in my neck where my fingers rest when my thoughts will not.

Something so comforting in feeling my own pulse, knowing my heart mimics my head;

both racing to a finish line that was promised so long ago.

I'll make the banner myself if I have to,

anything if it means I can just stop running away from things that are ultimately inevitable.

When asked what my worst fears are, I could write books upon books packed full of subject matter on how my hands shake when I think about every time I've ever opened my mouth

or

How I always open up my heart just to make a complete mess of things.

These are moments my brain will never recover from,

more like,

My brain telling me I'll never recover from.

The impending reality that I am more wrong than I am right.

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Having A Unique Relationship With Your Roommate Isn't Bad, It Can Actually Be Quite Great

Some people are always talking to their roommate hanging out all the time, but mine might be different.

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College is the land of the jungle and one of the best ways to get through is to have some friends. Usually, your first friend is probably your roommate and that is totally understandable but my first friend wasn't my roommate and honestly had a different way of getting to know him.

When I was going through out housing portal to find a roommate I really didn't know what i was doing. Should I message him? Should I try to meet him beforehand? I didn't do either. I saw the first name and went from there, for all i knew he could've been completely insane but, he wasn't thankfully.

Moved in and it was all good and we still didn't talk to each other on move in day, I know that sounds crazy but we didn't say a word to each other. It was weird that I would have to share this tiny cramped space with someone that I haven't even talked to yet. But, hey at some point i knew we would. to be honest, my mom was the first one to talk to him and they actually had a lot on common. they both grew up in the same neighborhood, crazy.

We finally talked to each other after about three weeks of going here and living with each other. We got to know each other a lot and we actually had a lot in common, we must've talked for 2 to 3 hours about random stuff, but it was so much fun. Then after that we didn't talk again for like another 3 or 4 days. Honestly, that is completely fine with me. We both understood how busy our lives would be since we are taking so many classes, studying, being with friends, and working.

I'm going to be honest, we don't talk to each other everyday, hang out and go to eat together, go to parties, or hell even play video games together. We share the space and we stay cool with each other. We make sure everything works in the room and we maintain the relationship of that we make it through the year without problems. I think both us don't expect much since we are guys and that can be an easy thing to handle.

But, through all of that I gladly call my roommate my friend. He's a guy that I can go to for advice on relationships, talk to about nerdy stuff that I know others couldn't relate to, and also be cool with that we won't talk every single day or hang out a bunch. It is different, but it's that good different that makes you step out of the comfort zone a bit. Someday he will read this and I hope he has embraced our time and sees me as a friend as well. Because I know he's a great guy and a great friend, maybe he doesn't right now but maybe over time we will be great friends.

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