Poetry On Odyssey: My Anxiety, Personified

Poetry On Odyssey: My Anxiety, Personified

This is my attempt at expressing how it feels to be afraid of your own shadow.

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This is a piece written about how my anxiety makes me feel. I've been dealing with this demon for a majority of my life, and sometimes it becomes hard to put it entirely into words. This is my attempt at expressing how it feels to be afraid of your own shadow.

My Anxiety, Personified

The crook in my neck where my fingers rest when my thoughts will not.

Something so comforting in feeling my own pulse, knowing my heart mimics my head;

both racing to a finish line that was promised so long ago.

I'll make the banner myself if I have to,

anything if it means I can just stop running away from things that are ultimately inevitable.

When asked what my worst fears are, I could write books upon books packed full of subject matter on how my hands shake when I think about every time I've ever opened my mouth

or

How I always open up my heart just to make a complete mess of things.

These are moments my brain will never recover from,

more like,

My brain telling me I'll never recover from.

The impending reality that I am more wrong than I am right.

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Summer In College Is For More Than Just Working

No, you're never to hold to have fun in the summer.

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There should never be an age where you stop having fun in the summer. The weather is nice, there are always things to do, and everyone is just naturally happier. So, regardless of whether you're 7 or 21, I'm talking to you.

During the year it can be hard to find a routine unless you are a very put together person. Sadly, I am not. Even when I tell myself I'm going to eat healthily, work out, and stop procrastinating, I usually don't follow through with that. At school, I find myself in somewhat of a constant catch-up mode. When I feel like I'm ahead on my homework or studying, that usually means I'm behind on being healthy in other aspects of my life. That is why I love summer. It's a chance to reset the clock for a second and catch your breath.

I get that having an internship or working is important for your post-graduation life, but having fun is important for your college years too. When you get a job in the real world, summer is going to look a lot different for you. That is why it's best to take advantage of the time now. This doesn't mean turning down that work experience, it means doing things other than just working.

First things first is finding a hobby you enjoy that you don't do at school. Pick it up for a little over the summer. Why not? For me, this is yoga. For whatever reason, I find myself too nervous to attend yoga classes at school. I have absolutely no reason to be anxious about doing something I like, but I am so I take the time to attend a few classes a week in the summer.

Secondly, try reading. Before you make that look of disgust on your face, think about the last time you read a book of your choosing. If it was recently, then kudos to you for managing your time well enough to do that. If you are not that person, then hello! I am talking to you. I am not a fan of reading because I usually associate it with homework. However, I find that when I have the time to browse the book section of a store for a few seconds, I find multiple books that jump out at me. During the summer I take the opportunity to read a little here and there. The nice part of leisure reading over school reading is that there's no deadline. You can read what you want when you want to.

Finally, learn something new. Again I usually associate learning with things that I am required to learn for my major. Learning something new that interests you is a different kind of rush. When I'm bored in class, I make bucket lists of little things I want to learn about. They can be big or small. One time I wanted to learn how to knit. Don't ask me why my 19-year-old self thought it would be sweet to sit on my porch in the summer knitting, but I did, and I'm kind of sad I didn't pursue that interest. When might I ever have time to learn how to knit again?

These might sound like quirky things to do, but you're young. Make a bucket list and try to cross one thing off each weekend. If you're like me, then you're a little scared of growing up. Scared you won't be able to accomplish all the things you want to. But, the fact of the matter is no one is going to make you accomplish them but you. So, take some initiative and do them. Summer is for more than just working; it's time to live a little and reset the clock.

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Maybe It's Time To Pick Up A Book And Learn To Enjoy Reading

Have you read 'The Hate U Give' by Angie Thomas?

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A book. A book can tell you a lot of things. A book can really change the way you think or leave you thinking about life. Or maybe it is just something you need to think about because a class requires to do so. Well, maybe it's just time to dig in and start reading. However, this reading can be of choice.

It doesn't have to be a book required for class or a book you just heard about. This book can be one that you wanted to read for quite some time. Or a book you might want to read over. Let's face the reality though for a second. How many books have you actually read after high school? Or maybe even In college?

If the number is 0 or less than five maybe its time to find a favorite author. Take some time to just absorb new perspectives. Reading for fun is not always a bad thing. It is a good way just to clear your mind, to de-stress, to learn. While reading always have a journal and pen. Because if you're an avid reader you might want to jot down some notes or favorite quotes from pages.

Whether you are reading classic books or new fiction books, it doesn't matter. A great way to just leave reality for a couple of minutes or hours. Often times people prefer to just listen to audio books because they don't have the time of day to read a book. That's okay! As long as you did some sort of fun reading than you should be good.

I myself am an avid reader and there really isn't another way I would go about it. Reading has always been a passion for me and it all starts by putting in the time. Reading different genres is always key to. Don't always get stuck on one genre. Keep yourself open to new ideas, new perspectives, diversity of content.

Reading is also a great way to come up with ideas. Just the very fact of reading for fun and getting ideas about assignments of life, in general, should be a goal. Knowing the meaning that the author is conveying or simply the message should be the goal. Not every book has a great ending to it but every book has content worth the read!

Next time you go to the library to study, do homework, or just to relax start looking for books. Because with the learning, or the new ideas generated comes an easy and fun way to pass time!

Some books that I would suggest reading that have powerful messages and impacting content are the following: The Hate U Give- Angie Thomas, Tuesdays With Morrie- Mitch Albom, To Kill A Mocking Bird- Harper Lee, and The Kite Runner- Khaled Hosseini.

All these books are written by great authors. Authors that put in the time, effort and work to inspire others. So continue to open yourself to new content. Continue to raise awareness for issues that need to be addressed, but most of all continue to seek knowledge and apply that knowledge to life.

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