When You Date A Partner With Anxiety, It Will Never Be Easy

When You Date A Partner With Anxiety, It Will Never Be Easy

Reassure the individual that you care about or love that you guys are okay.
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Another article explaining how to date someone with anxiety because a few just isn't enough.

To start, if you are considering dating someone with anxiety you need to really understand what you are getting into. Anxiety is not beautiful nor is it easy to deal with. Also, if you have dated someone with anxiety in the past, not all triggers are the same.

One thing those who are dating an individual with anxiety need to know is we know we hurt others by our reaction to our catastrophic thoughts. We understand that you might be an innocent third party but that does not keep us from acting out. We know that you have done nothing personally to us, but if none of this is something you can handle, you should probably leave.

Whether you are loving or caring for an individual with anxiety, you have probably already seen what being scared looks like for them. Being asked, "Are you okay?" "Are we okay?" "Is there anything on your mind?" "Do you want to talk about anything?", 40 times a day has probably already let you in on what is going on. The worries that come from not knowing or thinking that all the bad things that we believe are now happening.

If you are unaware of why an individual does this, ask. Ask in a way that does not make the individual feel like they are ridiculous or irrational for asking those kinds of questions a million times a day. Do not tell them that they are getting on your nerves, they will tell you that they know they are. Even if they are, just simply say, “You are not getting on my nerves”. But I am sure you also have also noticed that telling them that you are okay and that nothing is wrong, isn't doing it either.

So just ask them why they are asking you if something is wrong. Usually, when anxious people ask someone if something is wrong, there is actually something wrong with them. They have formulated some scenario in their head that has made them believe that you are not okay or that you guys are not okay. No matter how early or late it is in your relationship with that person, this will always happen. It is nothing you did personally, just a little reassurance that you guys are okay goes a long way.

Speaking of reassurance, that is the most important thing you can do for them.

Reassure the individual that you care about or love that you guys are okay. Reassure them that you still like them even if you have already told them a million times. Tell them again. I suffer from social anxiety as well and I am not big on PDA, so needing reassurance in public has always been a difficult task for those I have dated. If you pick up on your partner’s anxiety in public and they aren’t big on PDA, maybe just hold their hand or rub their leg. Let them know that you are present with them.

Reassurance does not have to be time consuming or expensive. A simple, "I've been thinking about you" text message out of the blue. Or instilling reassurance in them by making effort to spend time with them.

Besides reassurance, communication is a big one. Anxious people are people with lots of emotions and even if we are drowning in emotions all we sometimes know how to say is, “I don’t know, I am sorry.” When we do, very well, know exactly how we feel. If we cannot talk just be patient. Our anxiety will not keep us quiet about anything that has upset us and you will be the first to know.

But we also need someone who is good at listening and good at reciprocating communication. Anxious individuals wish they could be mind readers, and often, we think that we are skilled at it. But we aren’t. We need you to tell us how you are feeling every day and if that changes at all, we want to be the first to know. We cannot tell you that we have put together a scenario of why you no longer like us but have decided to stay with us anyway, but we have. As irrational and pointless as it might be to you, it is a very big thing to your partner.

And here is the most important thing I will say: Everything that is big to your partner is big for a reason. Do not belittle it because you do not understand it. Do not dehumanize your partner into thinking that they cause problems when their problems are more than problems. Their anxiety and thoughts are demons they have to battle with every day and just because you cannot understand it, does not mean it isn't real.

Dating an individual with anxiety is not easy. It’s a constant uneasy feeling of not knowing if things are alright between you two or if you even still want them. If you question why anyone would be this way then please do not think that you can take on a relationship that requires more effort than you are used to. They are not hard to be with, you just aren’t skilled to be with them and that is okay. But if you know you will do anything for the person you want to be with then just be present. Let them be their anxious self while you are just there. Be ready to hold them while they cry or just sit while they get everything off their mind.

Being with someone with anxiety should not require "How-To" articles, but it does. The lack of understanding and the abundance of judgment is what holds back those with anxiety from being able to make things easier for you. Letting them be themselves while you are there with a little more reassurance and communication, can go a long way for the both of you.

And to those who have anxiety: Choose people who don't make having anxiety harder on you. There are going to be people that come into your life that make it seem like you are hard to love and that your anxiety is the reason you have never been able to find love. That is not true. Dating is my biggest trigger and alone makes my anxiety worse. Not only does my anxiety stem from parental infidelity but also who I have dated. Anxiety will never be easy on you if you date people who aren't easy on your anxiety.

Cover Image Credit: Hailey Kean

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20 Reasons You Should Date A Nurse, As Told By Their Significant Others

Who better to get advice from than the ones actually doing it?

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Have you ever wondered what it is like to date a nurse? Why do some people do it? Don't they have countless 12-hour shifts (including nights), bring home gross diseases, always tired, holidays are up in the air, and tell ungodly stories that make you nauseous? Well, there are a lot more bright sides we don't always see.

I could tell you that nurses are natural caretakers, compassionate, smart, a little sarcastic, patient, etc., or you can hear all that and more from people who actually date nurses.

So, I asked 20 couples to tell me why dating a nurse is the best decision you can make.

1. You get the best start to your day.

Ari and Victoria

"It means getting used to being woken up early in the morning by his goodbye kiss as he goes off to the hospital. As much as I hate my sleep being disturbed, I worry when I don't get my morning kiss." -Victoria

2. The BEST personalities come from nurses. 

Kristine And Makato

"You get to be with a person who has a genuine caring and nurturing personality. You get someone who can put themselves in your shoes and still find it within themselves to put aside their differences in order to make sure you are okay. You get a one of a kind individual that you feel can do anything because of what the field demands. You feel like the luckiest person in the world because of these things. ♥️♥️♥️" -Makato

3. No emergency will scare them away. 

Theresa and Andrew

"Ladies, you should date a nurse because you'll always have emergency care 24/7. Seriously, the other day I fell and cut my knee. He was over with supplies and basically performed a full freaking head to toe assessment before I even knew what happened. Also, have you ever seen a man in scrubs? It's really a win win situation" -Theresa

4. You probably don't need health insurance

Alyssa and Mike

"So I don't have to go to the doctor's every time my head hurts. You can help." -Mike

5. They have the best sense of style.

Jenny and Emily (basically each others significant others...bffs 4 lyfe)

"Date a nurse because they are kind, compassionate, and always there to take care of you. Sick? BOOM, they know what to do. Need someone that you can trust to talk to? BOOM, they'll listen and never tell a soul what you said. Like a girl in uniform? BOOM, scrubs all day every day." -Jenny

6. You have your own walking, talking, WebMD (without the whole "you're probably dying" thing). 

Taylor and Matt

"Date a nurse because anytime I do something stupid like fall in the river, dislocate my knee fishing, cut my hands on rusty objects, knock teeth loose, get sick, or worry about medical problems, I have my own personal WebMD." -Matt

7. You get random check ups. 

Hannah and Robert

"I was watching TV, and out of nowhere, she's checking my pulse. She tells you you're breathing too much. She tells you you're not breathing enough. It's constant check up's." -Robert

(In our defense, we check peoples respiratory rate for a living. I know when I see 24 breaths/min or 14 breaths/min. Let me be.)

8. Your anxiety will be diminished and you save a ton of money. 

Ari and Victoria

"I spend way less on doctor bills and medical supplies now that I can ask my boyfriend my medical questions instead of having to go to the doctor to be told I'm perfectly healthy. He keeps my hypochondria in check for sure. My response to the littlest pain or annoyance is no longer 'call an ambulance'."-Victoria

9. They know how to call out bullshit. 

Cheryl and Carmine

"You do not get a lot of sympathy - unless you are REALLY sick or hurt !" -Carmine

10. They are always willing to help out. Because of this, YOU get to help out by becoming a practice dummy! 

Sammi and Caleb

"When dating a nurse you become a patient 24/7. Any new thing she's learning in class, gets practiced on you. If you're thinking about dating a nurse I'll tell you this, DO IT! They'll always be looking to help anyone who's sick or not in a great place mentally and I believe that to be the greatest trait anyone could have and I see that in a majority of nurses" -Caleb

11. They change you for the better. 

Erica and Jack

"Okay so she makes me grossly healthy, when I want burger king or something like that she offers to make healthy burgers, she convinced me to quit cigarettes because it is unhealthy, she checks my blood pressure constantly and when it's bad she lets me know and I go to the doctor's" -Jack

12. You basically have your own superhero.

Bryanna and Ryan

"Uhhh, duhhh you should date a nurse because they save lives; you're basically dating a superhero." -Ryan

Isn't this all we wanted as kids?

13. There is no such thing as being "too gross". They've seen it all. 

Jocelynn and Brandon

"You should date a nurse because you'll have someone who's able to patch you up after a stupid night out with the guys. Plus, you get a girl who's always responsible and selfless who wears her heart on her sleeve on the job & off. Knows how to be serious, yet still manages to use her sense of humor. Also, I get to pick my nose & fart without her being disgusted by it (MOST TIMES)" -Brandon

14. You're confused a lot because of all the terminology they are excited to share with you, but  don't worry they'll explain it. (We know the doctors never do *cough* *cough* another reason to date a nurse). 

Julia and Will

"You confuse me with words of nursing that I've never heard of or can barely even pronounce. Be prepared for overthinking and stress. A good thing about dating a nurse would be they know how to help when you get sicky, and it's hard to gross them out." -Will

15. They'll deal with your shit...sometimes

Zoe and Bobby

"Cause they take care of you when you're sick, lol. And they have a lot of patience..."

16. Are you a nurse dating a nurse? You will understand each other and their struggles immensely. 

Stanley and Rachel

She said : "You should date a nurse because they're so caring & know how to take care of you & are really smart & hardworking (aka my baby)"

He said: "Date a nurse because they are the most passionate of people. They care harder than anyone else and they will always be concerned with you and making sure you are okay, not just outside with cuts and bruises but on the inside where it counts in your heart. Also like, we just get each other and understand the time and work it takes and that's friggin huge"

AKA, they're basically the same human.

17. You kinda sorta maybe get a free pass to do stupid shit, because your nurse will be there. 

Erin and Joe

"You can do stupid shit and not have to worry about going to the hospital because she'll take care of you when you ultimately get hurt"-Joe

18. You have a knight in shining...scrubs? Yea, scrubs. Scrubs are definitely more moveable than armor. They're always ready to come save you.  

Mary and Nate

"I would say, 'Dating a nurse is peace of mind knowing that they have things under control when you slice your finger open even though they're an hour away' -Nate

19. If you're still wondering if dating a nurse is best for you, take it from these ladies who LIVE WITH ONE. (They're basically each others significant others).

Sarah (the nurse) with all the ones who put up with her: Maggie, Jenna, Claudia, Sophie, and Mellissa

"They complain about a headache but won't take medicine. They will be unavailable for hours at a time when exams are coming up" -Jenna

"When they come home tired from clinical and get drunk they want to kiss everyone" -Sophie

"You'll learn more than you ever wanted to know about the human body. They'll talk sense into you if you go too deep into WebMD" -Jenna (again; she was very passionate about this topic)

"They become your own personal WebMD, more logical though"- Mellissa

This is a confirmation that everyone else's statements are correct.

20. But honestly though....

Jess and Filip

"The real question is, why would you NOT want to date a nurse?!?" -Filip

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10 Of The Best On-Campus Date Ideas For Broke UK Couples

Some of the University of Kentucky's best spaces for you and your boo.

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Planning a good date on campus can be difficult when you and your S.O. are both low on funds. You want to do something fun, but everything on your mind is out of walking distance or costs more than the $3 you found in your jeans pocket. You don't have to stress any longer. There are plenty of sweet spots on campus, perfect for bringing a bit of fun and romance to your day. Here are my 10 favorite campus dates.

1. ​​Picnic outside of Willy T​​

picnic outside Willy T

Spring is fast approaching, and there is no better way to enjoy the warmer weather than a picnic in the quad outside the library. Grab a basket of your favorite foods and snacks, a couple of blankets, and your sweetheart, and get ready for a good time. My favorite picnic snacks are sandwiches, cheez-its, chocolate-covered strawberries, and probably everything else in my mini-fridge.

2. The Johnson Center

Johnson Center rock wall

Couples that sweat together, stay together! Maybe that's not a fact, but the gym on campus can be a great place to spend some time with your boo while being healthy. You can use machines side by side, spot each other, or (my favorite) rock climb together! After a date at the gym, all of the endorphins your body released will put both of you in the best mood ever. Feel free to take a post-date nap together too (if you're not too sweaty, of course).

3. Hammock, anywhere!

couple hammock

The campus is full of trees, which are perfect for hanging your hammock and cuddling up with your favorite person! A hammock is a perfect place for napping, reading, daydreaming, and even having deep conversations. If you or your S.O. are lucky enough to have a hammock, find some trees, grab a blanket, and get relaxed and romantic.

4. Your dorm

couple

Believe it or not, your dorm can be the perfect spot for a cute date. The options are endless! One of my favorite things to do is to build a sick fort, watch some Netflix, and cuddle. It may sound childish, but it's a great time, and the building process may even start a pillow fight. Other things you can do in your dorm are the classic binging Netflix, ordering in, having a spa night (face masks FTW!), or anything really! Don't be afraid to get childish, and just have fun.

5. Gatton Student Center

Gatton Student Center

There are always plenty of fun activities going on in the Gatton Student Center. Whether it be live music or "The Office" trivia, you're guaranteed to have fun! You and your favorite guy or gal can do anything, from trying stand-up comedy, to watching a movie or just chilling on the Social Staircase.

6. Bike around campus

bike around campus

UK's campus is so beautiful, especially in the spring, and the best way to take it all in is by a scenic bike ride with your honey. Find your favorite route and ride by the prettiest places on campus. While beauty may be in the eye of the beholder, one of the prettiest spots is in front of the main building. You can even combine some dates and add a stop for hammocking or a picnic during the bike ride. The possibilities are endless!

7. Starbucks

Starbucks

Every college student I know is constantly starved for coffee. Starbucks can be a great place for getting your caffeine fix, having a meaningful conversation, and even getting some studying in, all at the same time. Make silly faces at your S.O. with a whipped cream mustache and make a café latte toast to life. If you find yourself at the Starbucks in the student center, go UK merch shopping too! Maybe you can even get your date to buy your coffee (wouldn't that be nice).

8. Do something for charity

apo service fraternity

Charity work can be so much fun and it's good for the soul, too. Do something good for your community and make it into a date! There are plenty of things you can do, from decorating cakes for Sweet Blessings or giving blood at a UK blood drive. You can find volunteer work on your own, or you and your S.O. can join a service organization like Alpha Phi Omega (APO).

9. Stargaze

stargazing

If you live right outside of a big city, I'm sure you can understand how hard it is to see actual stars in the night sky. When I came to UK, I was so excited to see real constellations in the sky. As a hopeless romantic, my immediate thought was to plan a date under the beautiful Lexington sky. This is one of the easiest dates out there because all you need is a blanket, a nice spot outside, and someone to share some beautiful moments with.

10.  The Arboretum

arboretum

The Arboretum is a beautiful place, and it can create a very romantic setting for a date. You can relax in the grass and take in the beautiful surroundings or opt for a more high energy date with a walk, run, or bike ride. Either way, the Arboretum is full of gorgeous trees and flowers guaranteed to have you in awe (but the best part is all of the dogs that people bring, IMO).

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