For anyone who experiences anxiety, it can be quite debilitating. From not going to class because you're scared of walking in late even though you have plenty of time, to not even leaving your bed because you just feel like something bad is going to happen.
Sometimes there is actually a valid reason to feel nervous, but most of the time? No reason whatsoever. Anxiety is super frustrating and can ruin a lot of good things.
It is something that I struggle with every single day. I set my alarm to wake myself up with plenty of time to get ready and get to my 8 a.m. early, but I snooze my alarm at least four times because I can't decide if going to class is actually worth it and end up having to rush around my house when I finally talk myself into going.
I'll be sitting in class taking notes and all of a sudden I find my heart pounding for no obvious reason, and my breathing will quicken and I just get filled with all this dread. For NO reason!
There are so many things I want to do that I enjoy doing, but I'm forever asking myself if it'll be a waste of time. The excitement I feel for weeks about a concert I have tickets for turns into panic the night before because I'm scared something bad will happen at the concert.
When I go to restaurants, I have to sit facing the majority of the room with a line of sight to the exit. I am always on edge.
Every time I drive myself anywhere, I'm scared my car will get stolen or broken into. That's such a ridiculous thing to worry about because it hardly ever happens.
I even reschedule my therapy appointments because I get too nervous to talk about why I'm nervous.
I hate how anxiety makes me feel. It sabotages the plans I make with friends, and it sabotages almost every aspect of my life.
I am lucky though because I have an amazing support system. My boyfriend is super understanding of everything I deal with on a daily basis, all the mental wars I'm fighting. I also have a few really close friends who actually care about my well being, but not everyone has someone who is genuinely there for them no matter what.
I know that my anxiety story is not like anyone else's, but I hope this shows that you are not alone, because that's something else anxiety makes you feel. Alone.
