Anxiety And Being OK With Saying No
Start writing a post

I am a textbook definition of wanting to please people, and saying "yes" always seems to do the trick. However, it is only minutes later that my anxiety picks up and I wonder why I said yes to something again. Then I feel guilty for even thinking of taking back my yes. Before I know it my brain and body are a chaos within each other.

Here's the thing: there is a healthy line.

It has taken me many years to understand that I was allowed to say "no." It did not make me less of a friend or human being to allow myself a little less chaos in my life.

I think the hardest realization to come to was within myself. I wanted to do this and that with everyone who ever asked, but my body and mind pleaded for me not to. So which do I side with? Thus the healthy line.

We have to be comfortable above all else, and in order to remain such, we need to understand what our mind and body are telling us. For me it comes almost instantly. I can say yes to a date, a trip, a new project and be instantly shell-shocked and regretful. The problem here is that it takes a little more work and insight to say no before that regret kicks in. It's not easy, but we are allowed to pause and ask ourselves whether it is what we want to do. We are then allowed to say no without the feeling of guilt reigning over us.

Now this does not mean we have an immediate excuse to hide in comfort zones for the rest of our lives, feeding our fears and anxiety. It simply means that we can't always be the people pleasers we expect ourselves to be. It means finding the balance between saying yes and saying no. Allowing ourselves time to process invitations and ideas and questions. It means planning ahead. Above all, it means allowing ourselves to feel comfortable in every decision and choice we make.

So learn to say no (gracefully).

If you are seeking to say no more often to friends and family, it may be easier to explain to them exactly why. Whether it be anxiety, depression, an illness, or the like, be comfortable expressing your needs with them. Bring them into your mind so that they can 1) understand, and 2) help you to the best of their ability.

It becomes a little tricker when saying no to colleagues, classmates and the sort, though. This is where we have to bring a little of that gracefulness in. Here we must learn how to say no in a way that makes us comfortable and also does not leave the other party assuming it is a personal vendetta.

The simplest of ways to confront this is to answer with a simple "let me get back to you," or "thank you so much, let me think about it!" Then if your answer does come back to a no, don't feel obligated to explain your brainwaves to them, but simply thank them for the invite and let them know that you will try and make the next one. The biggest thing here is not to simply rely on a quick yes to solve the problem of immediate anxiety, as that will most often lead to more anxiety like I explained earlier.

There are always going to be offers; whether they are a road trip, a movie date, grabbing drinks after work, teaming up on a project, etc. And where we would love to say "yes, absolutely" to every offer, we don't have to. We are allowed to say no. Whether it's because of a chaotic mind or simply because we want to stay in with some wine and popcorn, we are allowed to listen to ourselves and take time for ourselves.

The double-edge sword.

Shoot, once you get used to it, "no" becomes just as intoxicating as "yes".

So, get out there, challenge your anxiety and comfort zone, but remember to listen to and care for yourself.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Robert Bye on Unsplash

I live by New York City and I am so excited for all of the summer adventures.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

The invention of photography

The history of photography is the recount of inventions, scientific discoveries and technical improvements that allowed human beings to capture an image on a photosensitive surface for the first time, using light and certain chemical elements that react with it.

205967

The history of photography is the recount of inventions, scientific discoveries and technical improvements that allowed human beings to capture an image on a photosensitive surface for the first time, using light and certain chemical elements that react with it.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

Exposing Kids To Nature Is The Best Way To Get Their Creative Juices Flowing

Constantly introducing young children to the magical works of nature will further increase the willingness to engage in playful activities as well as broaden their interactions with their peers

1653494

Whenever you are feeling low and anxious, just simply GO OUTSIDE and embrace nature! According to a new research study published in Frontiers in Psychology, being connected to nature and physically touching animals and flowers enable children to be happier and altruistic in nature. Not only does nature exert a bountiful force on adults, but it also serves as a therapeutic antidote to children, especially during their developmental years.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

5 Simple Ways To Give Yourself Grace, Especially When Life Gets Hard

Grace begins with a simple awareness of who we are and who we are becoming.

1036800
Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash

If there's one thing I'm absolutely terrible at, it's giving myself grace. I'm easily my own worst critic in almost everything that I do. I'm a raging perfectionist, and I have unrealistic expectations for myself at times. I can remember simple errors I made years ago, and I still hold on to them. The biggest thing I'm trying to work on is giving myself grace. I've realized that when I don't give myself grace, I miss out on being human. Even more so, I've realized that in order to give grace to others, I need to learn how to give grace to myself, too. So often, we let perfection dominate our lives without even realizing it. I've decided to change that in my own life, and I hope you'll consider doing that, too. Grace begins with a simple awareness of who we are and who we're becoming. As you read through these five affirmations and ways to give yourself grace, I hope you'll take them in. Read them. Write them down. Think about them. Most of all, I hope you'll use them to encourage yourself and realize that you are never alone and you always have the power to change your story.

Keep Reading... Show less
Entertainment

Breaking Down The Beginning, Middle, And End of Netflix's Newest 'To All The Boys' Movie

Noah Centineo and Lana Condor are back with the third and final installment of the "To All The Boys I've Loved Before" series

939151
Netflix

Were all teenagers and twenty-somethings bingeing the latest "To All The Boys: Always and Forever" last night with all of their friends on their basement TV? Nope? Just me? Oh, how I doubt that.

I have been excited for this movie ever since I saw the NYC skyline in the trailer that was released earlier this year. I'm a sucker for any movie or TV show that takes place in the Big Apple.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

4 Ways To Own Your Story, Because Every Bit Of It Is Worth Celebrating

I hope that you don't let your current chapter stop you from pursuing the rest of your story.

614115
Photo by Manny Moreno on Unsplash

Every single one of us has a story.

I don't say that to be cliché. I don't say that to give you a false sense of encouragement. I say that to be honest. I say that to be real.

Keep Reading... Show less
Politics and Activism

How Young Feminists Can Understand And Subvert The Internalized Male Gaze

Women's self-commodification, applied through oppression and permission, is an elusive yet sexist characteristic of a laissez-faire society, where women solely exist to be consumed. (P.S. justice for Megan Fox)

396065
Paramount Pictures

Within various theories of social science and visual media, academics present the male gaze as a nebulous idea during their headache-inducing meta-discussions. However, the internalized male gaze is a reality, which is present to most people who identify as women. As we mature, we experience realizations of the perpetual male gaze.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

It's Important To Remind Yourself To Be Open-Minded And Embrace All Life Has To Offer

Why should you be open-minded when it is so easy to be close-minded?

506726

Open-mindedness. It is something we all need a reminder of some days. Whether it's in regards to politics, religion, everyday life, or rarities in life, it is crucial to be open-minded. I want to encourage everyone to look at something with an unbiased and unfazed point of view. I oftentimes struggle with this myself.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments