It's everywhere. On your Instagram feed, your snapchat, magazines, the television. Comparison is everywhere. It feels as if we can't go more than ten minutes without seeing an airbrushed, size 00 model. While I'm a big fan of the Victoria's Secret Fashion show and may follow Gigi Hadid on every social media outlet, media can still take a toll on your confidence. I once came across the quote, "Another woman's beauty is not the absence of your own", and I think it's important for every high school, college and even middle school girl to take this into account.
I was never fat. I may not have had Gisele Bundchen's washboard abs, but I was always relatively thin. Until I started comparing myself to those 00 models and everyone around me who, in my eyes, were thinner than me. Because those girls I was comparing myself to were seemingly thinner than me, I categorized myself as "fat", equating myself to "not good enough". I began eating less and working out more. Everyone around me began to notice changes in my physical appearance. Initially, the feedback was positive. People would say, "Oh my god you look great!" or even "Have you lost weight?", unintentionally encouraging me to continue my habits of eating less and working out more.
It wasn't until those physical changes turned into mental changes that people began to notice something was wrong. That's when my family and friends intervened, and I was officially diagnosed with an eating disorder. Anorexia Nervosa, to be exact. I was embarrassed. Ashamed. I felt like I was a freak. I figured everyone would be talking about me. I felt like I was now labeled “the anorexic,” and that that was all people would think of when they thought of me. I felt alone. For anyone who is or knows someone going through an eating disorder, you are not a freak and you are certainly not alone. I was lucky enough to get the treatment and support I needed to recover, but it was certainly not an easy or fast journey. Never in a million years would I wish to have an eating disorder; however, it taught me so many things about myself, others, and the society we live in today.
This article is not meant to be about me. This article is about the girls who are too insecure to wear a bikini on Spring Break because they feel like they aren’t skinny enough. This article is for the girls beating themselves up for not fitting into the jeans they wore last year. This article is for the girls whose self esteem lowers each time they scroll through their Instagram feeds.
You wouldn’t want to hurt your friend’s feelings by telling them they aren’t good enough, they’re too fat and that they need to eat less- so why would you want to tell yourself that? Don’t be so hard on yourself. You are good enough. You are pretty enough. It is okay to love yourself. The beauty of another person is not the absence of your own.
And, for the record, there are plenty of things that taste better than skinny feels.