We all have that one person in our group of friends that technically counts as a friend, but annoys the heck out of everyone. They are the “friend” that you can only take in small quantities, and when other people are there, because talking to them by yourself is a daunting task. It’s not that you don’t have shared interests or a common background or that they are new to the group, it’s simply just that they are not your (or your other friends) cup of tea. Yet somehow they always end up at group hangouts or outings and you’re left wondering: “who invited them?” Here are some suggestions on dealing with that “friend”.
1.The first step in getting over anything is accepting that you can’t control the situation. In your “friend's” case, this means they aren’t going anywhere. Until you move, the “friend” moves, or your group of friends no longer talks they will be there.
2. If talking to them alone makes your face want to peel off, stick to the buddy system. With a buddy you are not alone in the conversation, you will have someone to exchange secret looks with, and a person to make an unbearable conversation slightly more tolerable.
3.Then there is the smile and nod. With a simple smile and nod you don’t have to provide much substance to the conversation, and it makes you look like you’re paying close attention. When in your head you’re thinking, “please let this be the end of this topic”.
4.Rely on those predetermined conversation topics when you’re left with an awkward silence. You know they are safe, friendly, and not too controversial; no one will get worked up if you bring up that time your friend group had a bonfire and Jane Doe broke her chair.
5.If your friend group is of drinking age, it might be fun to make a drinking game. Every time the “friend” does X,Y,Z: you drink. They key to this is don’t let it catch on that you are playing a game. If it is too obvious then the “friend” will want to play, and how to you tell a person that you are so annoying that we have to be trashed to be entertained by you. That is just unpleasant for everyone involved.
6.On the drinking note; do NOT let the “friend” get too drunk. What will most likely happen is: with every sip of alcohol that person gets more and more annoying, and your odds of having to take care of them gets more and more likely.
7.When it comes to canceling plans where the “friend” is included, be the first one to cancel. For one it makes your excuse seem more believable, and you aren’t stuck with a lame overused excuse. Whatever you do, do not let it come down to you and the “friend” left being the only two who can technically still go. Then you will feel obligated to go, and you probably won’t have fun.
8.Have an escape plan! This can work for if you get stuck on a one-on-one hang out, or if the “friend” is looking to make a plan that you’re just not interested in. It lets you leave, basically whenever you want, with a seemingly legitimate reason.
9.And finally, be as nice as you possibly can to the person. Because even if they annoy you, and the rest of your friends, they are still a person and you don’t have the right to tear them down. So do what you have to, to put up with them; but know that they are a person with feelings and insecurities just like you.
