"So I'll sing Hallelujah
You were an angel in the shape of my mum
When I fell down you'd be there holding me up
Spread your wings as you go
When God takes you back
He'll say, "Hallelujah, you're home."
The first time I heard Ed Sheeran's voice during his song, "Supermarket Flowers," the same feeling came back to me. The feeling was the one that I had when I got the call about my mom going into the hospital, when my family raced to the ER when she only had a few minutes left, when I stood in the funeral home during her viewing and memorial, and when the countless moments pass by that I am reminded of her memory.
Even though the first syllables echoed from Sheeran did not paint a picture of what the song was about, I knew that the part of my soul connected to my mother was touched. I could tell by the same previous feeling that I could not and was not supposed to escape during this moment.
As I listened past the initial chords, I could tell that the moment last week was perfectly planned for me. I heard Sheeran sing, “A heart that’s broke is a heart that’s been loved.” With the upcoming anniversary of my mother’s passing, on November 4th, I needed to hear those words more than ever. I needed the reminder that I was fortunate to have a mother who loved me for so long, and still does.
I pressed replay at least a dozen times on the Youtube video, when I noticed the date that the video had been released. March 2, 2017, my birthday, was the release date of the song. When I saw the date, I had that feeling once again, but gained more comfort. Once again, I knew that the song being introduced in that moment was meant to be.
When I continued to listen closer to the music, a few more of Sheeran’s lyrics touched the deepest parts of my heart. “I hope that I see your world as you did ‘cause I know, A life with love is a life that’s been lived.” My mother had gotten the opportunity to love the people she held closest to her heart, her family. Taking care of her family was how she wanted to live, and she got to do that.
Every time I listened to the three minute and forty-one second song, I felt like I got one step closer to being with my mom. I feel her often, but her presence was undeniable then. Maybe she knew I wanted to write to her, or that her love was really needed at this point in my life. You can call it mother’s intuition, but I am just thankful for the moments like these when my angel intervenes.
With that being said, I just wanted to say thank you, mom, for spreading your wings. You are now home and can continue to fly.
I love you.
