I wrote a piece a few weeks ago on perspective, and I realize that when it comes to having perspective, there's more to just how you see things. Sometimes you have to be aware of how others see you. Now normally, you should just not care what anyone thinks of you, and make sure you do the things that make you happy and be yourself. But what if you're trying to be yourself, and you don't understand why people don't respond to you. Sometimes, you have to take a different perspective, and ask someone you can trust how they see you. You can think you're cool or nice, or respectful, or anything really, but if no one thinks that you are these things, then what does it mean?
I'm happy to use myself as an example, because I seem to be a shining example for these things. I'm usually pretty laid back and like to make people laugh, but there are plenty of occasions where it's time to be serious. I furrow my brow and focus on the task at hand and make sure I'm ready to work and people can see that I'm ready to do what it takes. Apparently, I just look pissed off and like I don't want to be around anyone. A lot of people think I have an attitude, a sort of vibe that just exudes some sort of anger or something. It's been something that's been really hard to see and deal with, because in your head it's going one way, and to everyone else, over and over again, it's something completely different.
Here's another example that blew my mind recently. When I meet new people, through friends of someone else, I tend to sit back. My brother visits people at his old job occasionally and I have gone with him and usually, I sit back and listen, being respectful and not butting into their conversation. I'll pitch in when asked questions, or if I have something to say, but I'm not someone to try and force myself into someone else's conversation. But, then again this is just the way I think. Turns out that these friends think that I don't like them, and that I'm antisocial or just uncaring. If you're like me and trying to expand your social tree and meet people, and be friends with whoever you can, this can be a bit of a blow to your self-confidence. It's okay to be who you are, but sometimes there are certain aspects of yourself that you need to change. If you want to change, then that's perfectly okay too. I need to work on being more forward, and more welcoming, even though I thought I always was. Sometimes it really does depend on someone else's perspective.
It's a really challenging subject. I'm not saying to conform, to be what everyone else wants you to be. I'm not saying that you have to change yourself to make everyone happy, but you should be okay with changing yourself to make yourself happy. Other people's opinions only mean as much as you make them mean. If they don't matter to you- that's great! You do you and make yourself as happy as can be! But everyone needs acceptance, everyone needs companionship, and sometimes you have to open up and break down some barriers. And sometimes you need to go against what your brain and heart tell you, because as much as you see things your way- not everyone else does.