You might be keen on insisting that you never think twice of me while I am absent in pursuit of my dreams. You might stand there hours away from me, arms crossed firmly over your chest, content in your claims that you do not miss me, nor the time we lived together permanently. You might even be so bold as to attempt to acknowledge those things in dialogue with me on the phone, stating blatantly to my face that life is so much better when you haven't got your older sister there to pester you about embarking on a Target run with her or playing games like Super Smash Bros or Just Dance on the Wii.
If I imagine how you truly feel about my leaving for college though, I picture that you do in fact miss me, perhaps you may be angry with me, bewildered at how I could've possibly gone through with abandoning you. I can imagine that you might be content in that you no longer have to share with me and melancholy in that your unconditional companion is no longer there to spend time with. I can imagine that you might be inclined to feel a tad lost when you come across instances in life when you would have approached me in search of aid or clarity in all of life's mysteries that you'd rather not discuss with a parent or another friend or relative.
Right now, if there is one thing I want to say to you more than anything, it is simply that I love and miss you dearly. If you'll allow me the time, I would love nothing more than to share with you a brief piece of my mind, so that you may know why I behave toward you the way that I do, and why you hold one of the largest pieces of my heart.
The claim could be produced that I am too hard on you. Perhaps that is true, but the way I see it, I do this because I believe in you and I want so helplessly, so desperately, for you to be more successful than me and to avoid the mistakes that I have made in my life. I've gone ahead and paved the path for you, but know that I do NOT want you to follow in my footsteps, I want you to follow your own aspirations, create your own stories, and above all else, be happy. I want you to reflect on my childhood, and not for any vain reason of mine, rather because I want you to know that you can always carry me with you and know that you can lean on me always, weather you need a shoulder to cry on or you need to rant aggressively or you want to celebrate all that the world has to offer us.
I'm sorry for all of those times I've picked on you (and still do) or pestered you in attempts to pry for information. I'm sorry for every time you ever have been or ever will be annoyed by my naturally overprotective attitude. I'm sincerely sorry for the sense of parallelism that lies between us, causing all who enter both of our lives to make comparative statements regarding everything from our appearances, to our personalities or interests, to even a thing as strange as the similarity of our voices. It is with utmost certainty that I claim that you would not like to compete with me or be compared with me, and that is quite common among siblings and I can say for myself that I hold the same opinion.
Lastly, I want to tell you that I am excited for you. I am excited to see you grow and alter, excited to watch you choose your next adventure and embark on it confidently, whatever it may be. I am thrilled to see the beautiful and intelligent young woman you are gradually becoming, and the many talents you have in your skillset that already inspire others. I am excited for our lifelong friendship and that I get the honor of calling you my little sister, whom I love more than anything. Honestly, you are such a rock for me, in that you always support me and keep me grounded, and I couldn't appreciate you more for it. Remember that I will venture home soon, I am always merely one call or text away, and I cannot wait to continue making boatloads of memories with you for the rest of our lives. Stay classy!
Keep smiling & happy reading!
~Kenzie
