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An Open Letter To Women Who Think Men Owe Us Something

Hate to break it to ya, but they don't.

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An Open Letter To Women Who Think Men Owe Us Something
Juliana e a Moda

I'd like to get right down to business.

Let's get one thing straight ladies.. Men don't owe us anything. 

We grew up watching the fairy tales and expecting men to sweep us off our feet the day we begin falling in love. Many of us expect fancy dinner dates and expensive anniversary gifts, but why do we impose such superficial expectations that will set the men we love up for failure nine out of ten times?

Sure, romance is necessary in a relationship. And chivalry is important, don't get me wrong, but there is a difference between wanting a man to respect you and expecting a man to spoil you. Now to each their own.. You can treat him however you want, but in my opinion the special dinner dates and the nice gifts should be treasured, not expected every time you go out. The pressure we sometimes put on the men that we love can be heavy. It's only a matter of time before they are unable to carry all of the weight we put on them. And we do it unknowingly.

Think about the media's imposed expectations on us as women. We are doing the same thing to these men. I mean, open google right now. Seriously, do it. Type in "10 things every man..." and the first few things that pop up are "should do for his woman", "needs to know about his woman", etc. Now type in "10 things every woman..." and what pops up is a little different: "wants to hear". When did it become all about what WE want and what MEN can give us? We continually raise the bar and eventually, it will be at an unreachable level. It's good to have standards, ladies, but to expect so much insinuates that you are worthy (which you probably are) but, and here's the catch, without you even having to prove it. I believe that respect is to be mutually obtained by two people who exert mutual effort. We owe them just as much as they owe us in a relationship because NEWS FLASH! When you are in a committed relationship, it's not just about YOU anymore. It is now about the two of you as a unit.

And heck, we are allowed to spoil them too. Men, and other people in general, are not the source of our strength, worth, or self confidence. I think lot of times when we view men as people who are supposed to take care of us, we are actually refusing to accept the fact that we are responsible for our own strength, worth and self confidence. When you put your happiness in the hands of someone else, you will always be let down. And men are only human! They crave the same love, acceptance and nurturing that we want to find.

You are the only one who truly knows what you want when you want it, what makes you happy and how to spoil yourself. We sometimes expect men to know what we want as if they are inside of our brains. Instead of expecting your boyfriend or husband to pick you up the next time you're feeling down, decide to pick yourself up. We've all been there where we have had arguments with our significant other because they didn't say the "right thing" or they didn't act a certain way that we wanted them to. Stop expecting them to be mind readers. I am so sick of girls who are in what I call "Princess Mode". Yes, he might be very lucky to have you, but you are equally as lucky to have him. If you don't feel equally as lucky, I think it's time for you to say bye-bye to your relationship. Narcissism is extremely unappealing.

I guess what I'm trying to say is relationships are supposed to be mutually beneficial. It's not about taking, taking, taking. It's about balance in every aspect of the word. It's about nights in spending quality time together AND nights out with friends. It's about catering to his every need some nights and him cooking you dinner others. It's about taking the bill at dinner every once and a while and appreciating each time he handles it. It's about surprising him with meaningful homemade gifts that warm his heart when he least expects it and being genuinely thankful for the flowers he randomly brings home to you.

Be whole before you are his and remember that he is only human.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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