I am not nothing.

I am everything and more.

I am confident.

I am determined.

I am powerful.

I am an innovator.

I am as resilient as they come.

But you don’t see any of that in me.

When I walk into the room you look at me as if I don’t exist.

Our eyes lock onto each other as if you are my life raft, and I am yours.

But then, you look away.

You don’t dare to utter a single word or sound that would show you just acknowledged that I’m a human being.

Your eyes flicker away from side to side in shock, as if you just witnessed a murder and I’m the one holding the knife.

And only God knows why that for some reason, this absolutely kills me.

Like a wave crashing upon me stinging the wounds of all my insecurities- the insecurities you opened with your crooked smile asking me,

“So what’s on your mind?”

And yet, through the hurt, I still seek for you, like a lighthouse in the distance.

You used to be my friend.

A person I could even call my brother.

You were the one I longed for when everything in life went to complete shit, and I sought for you in the midst of my storms.

But as time grew on, I guess we just grew apart and it was as if the light I once searched for suddenly vanished into the darkness of the world.

It was a world filled with beer, booze and “totally hot girls.”

A world filled with Alphas and Omegas just seeking for some change.

It’s a world filled with what seems like insignificant problems. Yet, for some reason I find myself longing to be a part of it all.

Those glances you gave me when I walked into the room- the ones that I once savored, somehow got lost in translation when you decided to look at her, instead of me.

And maybe this is because of what I bear upon my chest, the values that I hold.

Or maybe it’s because I don’t fit the cliché sorority stereotype.

Because I’m not the blonde hair girl with blue eyes who has her whole life put together.

But, I am the blonde hair girl with blue eyes who refuses to withstand your bullshit any longer.

See, you look at me with empty eyes because though I am a sorority girl, I’m not that sorority girl.

I’m not the girl who laughs at all your one-liners while stroking your arm with admiration over a joke that wasn’t that funny to begin with.

I’m not the girl who will act like the damsel in distress because I am perfectly capable of doing things on my own.

And I do not, and will not apologize for not conforming to your likes and pleasures but, I do thank you.

When I first started college I had this idea that I had to fit this certain image for anyone to even give me a second look.

I have learned, however, that I do not need your nod of approval, nor your words of affirmation telling me how great I already know I am.

So I thank you, for letting me realize that in order for me to see my own worth, I don’t need you, but that all I ever truly needed to be, was me.