Dear 'The Unknown',
You are the end result. The what will happen? What could have been or what will be..? I fear you most, but why? I need to know you so bad, but you are not to be known. You, as the unknown disguise yourself immensely. You are the death inside us, the heartbreak we are waiting for as we never can truly trust a good thing. You walk around within each and everyone of us. You play with our minds as you are deceiving. The thoughts we create in our head, the messages we are afraid to send, the fear that crawls within us, you. The drop in my stomach, the pit that creates a nauseating feeling within me is you, you are the fear and the rejection. You are the end result in every conversation. Unknown, you lie within all of our eyes. I need to figure you out.
I feared you for the longest time, craving the answer of what is going to happen. Everything I have passed up, every activity I missed out on, every opportunity I denied before me was because of you, I blamed/blame it all on you. You are frightening, when you speak I hear nothing, I can't see the true you. It all comes around sooner or later, we finally find out what he wants from you, we finally find out what was on the other side, the words on the next page, you show us eventually, but never soon enough. You are suspenseful, I think of you all the time. I stare at my phone waiting for the light up, I stay up late thinking about what will be, and you never leave my mind. You are the ambiguity within me, the unknown answer to the problems around me. You cause the anxiety of our image. How we dress, who will judge, what will be said, needing to be labeled and identified is left to you, the unknown. You, at times demolish what is within my comfort zone, causing the dismay of what is lying on the outside.
I have searched for you, asking questions, wondering constantly, but now I know. I am the unknown, you are the unknown, we are the unknown. We are the hypocrites of what we have feared all along. We fear ourselves, we fear our actions and our thoughts. We fear the reaction received from someone else. We fear the rejection, but allow ourselves to reject others. We are not sure of how we feel and that is okay, but become anxious and unaware of someone else's feelings. So unknown, myself, and us all. We are the unknown. We try to figure everything out when we cannot figure ourselves out. We accept our own actions but will dwell on what someone else will do. We are the rejection, we are the heartbreak, we are the fear, the disguise, the two-faced comments. We are what we fear, each other, life, everything around us. Stop fearing the unknown, we do not need an answer to everything, we do not need the end result, the knowledge of how someone feels, or the fear of who will leave or who would stay. Life is full of obstacles and turns leading to the unknown, leading to a dead end. So this letter to the unknown is a letter to myself, a letter to you, stop the fear, stop the wonder, let the unknown crawl around us as we live, and leave the suspense to be discovered when ready. Let the unknown remain a mystery, because as much as it can hurt, we all need a little mystery to keep us going.
Sincerely,
The one who is no longer searching for you
