I could make it simple and give a brief list of all the things you haven't missed quite yet. For instance, college graduation, marriage, and all the birthdays and holidays in-between. But the thing is, it isn't that simple. It has never been that simple and it will never be that simple. Let me give you a brief glimpse of what you have missed.
- Countless Birthdays
I honestly don't know where to begin. I haven't received a heart felt birthday wish, or just the simple mechanical "Happy Birthday" in years. The big birthdays that you've missed have been, turning 13. I'm finally a teenager, and who wasn't there to celebrate or even communicate with? The older brother who this aspiring teenager wants to be like. Turning 17, I got my license and was lucky enough to even get a car. Still nothing, with the exception of a mindless snapchat that was sent to every other person on the contact list or a measly instagram like. Turning 18, I'm an adult. I'm about to enter adulthood and you're missing it.
- Big Events
My first boyfriend. I didn't get the tips or advice from the older sibling like every other teen. The boyfriend didn't get any half hearted threats to not hurt your sister.
My first break up. There were no reassuring words, or even any communication to help me through a time where it was needed most.
Important lacrosse games, or any lacrosse game. Fun fact, my entire lacrosse career is built on your own. Just as you were a goalie, so am I. Just as you were recruited to a college team, so was I. Regardless of all your faults, my subconscious strived to succeed just as you had.
Applying to colleges. No advice was given. You didn't tell me what to do and what not to do. You didn't tell me applying to some schools would've been a mistake, or that I really should go for it.
Getting my first acceptance letter. That had to be celebrated without your presence or congratulations.
Senior Prom. You probably just saw an instagram picture on my feed, which is about the level of acknowledgement you paid to it. 
Graduating High School. It's funny how the entire family can come together for this event, except you. It's really funny how I saw everyone's face in the stands, whether they be next to each other or on opposite sides, but not yours. It's even more funny how I still didn't get a text or call.
.
Moving into college for the first time. Again, everyone can come together and take part in this milestone, except you.
Of course there have been plenty of other things that you have missed either knowingly or unknowingly, but all the same, missed. Even though it may mean nothing to you, or your issues with someone else in the family have blocked you from my life, the lack of effort has not gone unnoticed.
I attended all your events. I watched my big brother be the star of his games, perform in the school talent show, go to prom, have a first (and second and third and fourth and fifth etc.) girlfriend. I was always watching. I was also watching when you disappeared from my life.
After all this, being of no surprise, I have learned to view everything differently. I'll be better than you. I won't abandon my siblings, even if I have a problem with someone else. I won't miss a single event. I'll be a better sport. I'll finish college and then some. More importantly, I won't become a magician and practice my disappearing act on my loved ones.
I don't exactly know what you've been doing, what you're up to, what job you have, where you live, your phone number, or what kind of friends you have. But I've come to the conclusion that I don't exactly care anymore. Having been the newest elder sibling for years to come now, it'll be different.
