To The Person I Never Got Over

To The Person I Never Got Over

No matter where we are in life, we always find each other.

My Dear,


Why is that after all this time, we can’t seem to move on? For as long as I can remember, we have had a thing, years of flip flopping on feelings and wandering through an endless wheel of disappointment. Not your typical high school puppy love or publicity stunt, but a legitimate connection that seems to be unshakable. You were always someone I found desirable, yet completely…. aggravating. Our minds never seemed to cross the same wavelength and your personality appeared to be the complete antithesis of my own. I could never debunk your thoughts or idiotic actions, as if I was in a constant state of dramatic irony. But I didn’t care. What we have is something that allows these details to fade from thought.

We bullshitted for years, dating the wrong people, looking for something that wasn’t each other. I always lied about how I felt, never completely admitting my feelings, which were everything but platonic. For years, we stayed friends. We fell in love with different people, and eventually, got our hearts shattered. My exes hated you, because they understood, even before I did, that what we had was more raw and real than any relationship I ever had. They saw the threatening force you had on me, knowing that I would drop any other lover for you. But we were always there for each other: to pick the careless shards of my heart off the floor and mend it back together. I guess you just filled in the missing pieces with your own dismembered heart. Finally, we both chased our feelings. We never made it last, but we never got over it; we could never call it quits. Our friendship would never be the same, why not keep trying?

Even now, I see you, and our lives seem so different. You fantasize about a life that would be nothing but appalling to me. My independence and cold heartedness frightens you. No matter where we are though, we always find each other. Whether its six months, two years, or 20 years down the line, we can always pick up right where we left off. Things will never change, but do we want them to?

We will probably never live happily ever after; we will not be the Nicholas Spark archetype, where you run through a crowded airport after me to tell me that you fucked up royally and need me back. No, that’s not how life works, not my life that is. Our lives are not a remake of When Harry Met Sally. We are those lovers, destined by fairytale expectations, to be together, but never for more than a snap of a finger. That doesn’t change that fact how I feel, that the connection we have is something that most people don’t experience once, let alone multiple times. We have a passion that rejuvenates us, that feeds our lustful souls and that perplexes us, as all love does. In the words of Amy Winehouse, love is a losing game, and it’s true. My feelings for you are a ticking time bomb that will eventually scatter my body across this wasteland, until you come around again, and put the pieces back together. That’s the cycle, that’s our story, and I am glad I will feel it forever.

Yours always.

Cover Image Credit: Pintrest

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To The Guy Who Treated Me Like Crap

In many ways, I feel bad that you could never see how amazing I am.

Dear (insert guy's name here),

I’m sorry that I acted as your footstool for so long. You treated me terribly, and for some reason, I couldn’t see that. I only saw you as someone who liked me and wanted to be with me (at least, that’s what I thought). I was like a little puppy dog following you around, completely loving and loyal. I was always waiting for you to text me, posting Snapchat stories for the sole purpose of knowing you would see them and always hoping you would come around when I was out with my friends so I could show you off.

No matter how hard I wanted us to work out, I now realize it never would have.

You weren’t right for me because you treated me like I was your inferior. You were always talking to other girls, flirting with them, and treating me like a child. You were so selfish. Only doing what you wanted and coming around when you felt like it and taking advantage of me. You made me feel crazy when I got mad at you for all the little things. I was so caught up in you that I tried to ignore all of the signals right in front of me.

You just weren’t right for me.

I now know that the right guy for me is the one who respects me and chooses me over everyone else. The guy who never makes me feel insane for questioning something, the guy who understands when he’s done something wrong and can live with the consequences. You just simply couldn’t provide that for me. In many ways, I feel bad that you could never see how amazing I am.

While I may have been so upset when our relationship ended, it made me realize who I am and what I deserve. I deserve so much more than someone putting in 50 percent. I deserve an endless amount of respect and communication. Putting in your all for a relationship when they can’t do the same is not healthy and it’s childish. I hope someday you can find a girl that you can love infinitely but I take a lot of pride in knowing that girl won’t be me. I may be single for a really long time or I may find the one tomorrow, either way, I have so much hope that one day someone can give me their all and make me feel incredible.

For now, I’m done wasting my time on guys like you who make me feel miserable.

The One Who Got Away

Cover Image Credit: Trinity Kubassek

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15 Ways To Support Your Military Significant Other

The military is not like any other job.


15 ways to support your significant other in the military. Being a MILSO is terrifying, lonely, and frustrating. Here are some tips to get by. YOU GOT THIS!

1. Understand that they will be busy

The military is not a 9-5 job with a lunch break. It could be drill or deployment, remember that they are going to be busy. He/she might not be able to call every night, text you, or answer your texts in a timely manner. They are busy, you should stay busy too.

2. The military is not a job, it is a lifestyle 

Unfortunately, you cannot pick and chose when you are a military spouse, girlfriend, or boyfriend. You are expected to act like a MILSO 24/7. You should support them 24/7 and be a listening ear when needed. Your SO does not have a normal job.

3. Become independent


You will be away from your military significant other for days, weeks, months, or even a year+. This is overwhelming and exhausting. But think of it as an opportunity for you to gain independence, work on your own dreams, and become the person you want to be!

4. Trust, trust, and more trust

Do not take this one lightly. Being a significant other, in any relationship, means trust. You have to believe that they mean what they say. You have to trust them when they cannot answer your texts or calls. Believe that they are doing is important and you can wait.

5. Prepare for deployment

Personal photo

Unfortunately, this is a very real side of being a MILSO. You never know where and when they are going to leave or for how long. Welcome to the roller coaster (;

6. Do not date them for the benefits 

The job is done because they love their country and want you to be safe, not for the military pay or benefits. It is not glamorous, or worth it just for the health insurance! Do it because you love them.

7. Become a support system

Personal Photo

Support them every day, through words, actions, and reassurance. This job is not easy. Do not be pushy with details. Let your significant other come to you when they are ready.

8. Lean on other MILSOs

Because nobody says you have to do it alone.

9. They are missing you too

Just because they are busy does not mean they are not missing you. Not only do they not have you, but they also do not have their house, bed, family, or even their own country at times!

10. If you have children, be prepared to become both parents 

I, personally, do not have children. However, growing up in a military family, I had my mother play my father role. It is scary but it is possible. Do not expect to be perfect.

11. Be flexible 

When I first started this journey, I thought, "It is the military, when they said he will be home at 6:00 pm, he will be home EXACTLY 6:00 pm!" I could not have been more wrong. FLEXIBILITY IS KEY!

12. The military isn't closed for the holidays

Personal photo

They will not be home for every holiday, every birthday, or every plan. Plans are made to be changed. Nobody can control the military or its timing. Be prepared to have Christmas in January.

13. Be proud of them 

What they are doing is not easy. It is scary, stressful, exhausting, and time-consuming. They are doing it because they care. Show how proud you are of them.

14. Hug them...all the time


Appreciate the time you have together. It means the world to both of you.

15. Send packages, letters, texts, ANYTHING

They are looking forward to what you have to say. After their long day, they want to see your texts and packages. Make their job a little more tolerable.

Good Luck, fellow MILSOs! YOU GOT THIS

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