To the ones who think they know me,
Without actually knowing me personally, you don't. I am shy, but I am not a "b*tch." It takes me time to warm up to people because there have been so many who have created drama in my life. There have been so many people that I have opened up to, just for them to betray me. It takes time for me to warm up to others, but that does not mean I am uninterested in getting to know you or be your friend. Because I am. I love people, I'm just careful. I need time to feel comfortable with you and to see your true character before I can let you in fully.
Because I am aware that my natural shyness can be misinterpreted as snobby, social situations can sometimes make me nervous. I constantly re-evaluate myself, trying too hard to control how I am being perceived by you. I start to close off even more if I don't talk myself down and relax.
People talk, and I've always been an unlucky target. Just because you hear things about me, doesn't mean they are true. Things that you may hear from other people, are not the things you should go by when you evaluate me or anyone else. Things that people "think they see" can often be misinterpreted. If there's one thing you should realize by now, it's that there are always two sides to every story.
I wear makeup and dress "cute," but I am not conceited. I am insecure at times, and these things help me to feel more secure. I am "skinny" but I eat (a lot). I go to the gym and eat healthy sometimes, but it’s not to lose weight. I'm simply taking care of myself.
You think you know me, but you don't. You don't know that I'm loyal, or that if I open up to you, that means I trust you -- and I trust very few people. I will never tell your secrets, and I will never spread a lie about you. I will lift you up, and let you know that you are valued. I will be here for you when you need me, and always listen to your problems. I will stand by you. But you don't know that.
You don't know that I'm not my past. I believe everyone has things in their life that they are not proud of. And like everyone, I have had my bad moments. But I have had many more great moments to make up for it. My past is not relevant to who I am today. People grow and change. People learn.
The people that know me, know that I am one of the most open-minded people you will ever meet. There is nothing you can tell me that I would judge you for. The people that know me, know the little things. I have an unhealthy obsession for my cat, own more books than I can possibly read and would be more than satisfied living in the wilderness. I love to laugh, and I laugh easily. I love to chatter away -- literally about anything and everything. You don't know me, but I know me. I am more than what you think you know.
Sincerely,
Me
