Dear Middle Child,
Growing up in a big family isn’t what you would call easy. Not only did I grow up in a fairly large family, I was the middle child in a family consisting of five girls. Having a family of all girls is a shock to most, but to us it’s nothing new. Being the middle child I tend to have what people refer to as “Middle Child Syndrome.”
This so-called syndrome consists of feelings of lonesomeness and as if you have been forgotten. It isn't hard to find myself feeling this way because I’m living in my older sisters' shadows. They are in the spotlight at most times because they are the oldest of the siblings, their futures being the main focus in my household. They are given all the benefits of being the “first” or “oldest of the family.” They get first pick on absolutely everything ranging from what seat they get in the car on road trips to who gets to shower first when we arrive home from school. Then there are my two younger sisters. The youngest of the family tend to feel the need to constantly be coddled and spoiled. They are the “princesses” of the family, complaining when they don’t get what they want until eventually my mother or father give in. Then there is me, the plain old middle child. My position in the family seems to contain no perks, I don’t receive first pick on anything and complaining when I don’t get what I want gets me absolutely nowhere.
From what I just stated above, you would think that being the middle child is one of the worst things that could happen in any family. What people don’t realize is that I have grown to learn specific skills and personality traits that will help me in the future. One of the most helpful skills I have learned is working independently. A tremendous part of college is working by yourself. You could end up in a class of 20 or you could end up in a class of 80 people, so being able to work independently is a benefit in either situation. Some people grow up relying on their siblings to get them through everything in life including school, drama and teaching them the basics of life. Yes, my sisters helped me with all of that and they are my biggest role models. But, throughout the years I learned you cannot rely on others whether it's your friends, siblings, parents or anyone in particular. You make the choices in your life, you create your future. Being the middle child, I learned that relying on yourself is actually a great skill to gain. You can accomplish so much more if you have the mindset that you yourself can accomplish anything.
One of the best things I can agree on with being the middle child is avoiding conflict. My two older sisters are in constant bicker with one another along with my two younger sisters, leaving me in the middle to be the negotiator, otherwise known as “the peacemaker.” One thing I despise is when they turn to me and ask my opinion on the whole situation, they expect me to take sides. After the many years of listening to the constant bickering, I have become great at debating; I can prove facts to be true unlike any other, and I can also get anyone to believe anything I say (a trait that came in handy when it came to convincing my parents that I did nothing wrong). These are just a few of the many positive things I have learned being the middle child.
This all sounds so crazy, I would never go up to anyone I just met and introduce myself as the middle child of my family. It is something that I cannot control but I know that something I once had dreaded has turned out to be one of the most helpful traits in my life. I have mastered skills in my life that some children have only begun to learn. Who do I have to thank for this? Some may say my parents, but through my eyes I have fended for myself long enough to take credit for who I have become. Hang in there.
Sincerely,
The Middle Child loving life
