Dear 18 year-old me,

Congratulations, you're about to start college! I know you’ve already got an idea in your head of what it's gonna be like, and I can tell you now that you are going to have some amazing experiences; ones that you never would have thought of having. These next five years (yes, five) are going to change your life. I know you're scared. You picked a school six hours from home. You don't know where anything is. Anxiety about your major has already set in. To top it all off, the only person you know right now is your roommate, and that's okay.

You're gonna make friends. Yes, we are going to make friends. Lots of them, actually. Some will be just for a while, some out of convenience, and some are going to worm their way into your heart and find a place they will never, ever leave. They’ll make you happy, sad, furious, confused, flustered, and one will break your heart, but you’ll survive. You’ve experienced it before. Just remember that you're going to find people who will love you so much, and five years later when you write this letter, you're going to have to take a moment to wipe away tears because you love them too. You're such a sap.

You're also going to get a boyfriend. It's going to be early on in your college career and it’s not going to last long. He’ll seduce you and captivate you and confuse you and piss you off and drama will inevitably ensue. Just remember that no matter what, you are worthy of love. Other people’s choices do not mean that you failed. Also remember that holding a grudge does nothing but weigh you down. I know that we have a soft heart, and that’s not a weakness. Know that your relationship status does not define you, and that friends will always be there. Also, your high school classmates will start getting engaged at a rapid pace. Don't let that shake you. You're going to be too adventurous and independent for that sort of thing anyway.

Keep an open mind. Your personal beliefs are going to be challenged. This is what's supposed to happen in college. You're going to change your mind on some things and steadfastly hold on to others. Do not be ashamed about what you believe. Your beliefs will become very important, and your voice will join the battle cry of thousands that think and feel just like you. Embrace the different, educate the ignorant, and reject the unjust. Remember, too, that people are complex beings with thoughts and feelings, even if those thoughts and feelings clash with your own. Don't demonize them. It’ll feel easier to write them off as bad people, but don't. People are more than their political parties, as hard as that is to believe.

Be ready for change. Your very first day of class is going to be one of the hardest days of your life. You're going to cry a lot. You're going to call mom and she’s going to cry because she can't hug you through the phone. You're going to hate yourself for going to a school so far away from home and choosing a major that doesn't want you. You have the power to change that. In fact, you will. You know that dream in the back of your mind? The one you rejected because everyone told you to be a music teacher? You're going to follow that instead, and you're going to love yourself for it. By that very next fall semester, you're going to be a theatre major, and your life will start to make sense. It’ll set you back a year, but you’ll end up graduating with one of your best friends from high school and some of the most amazing people you've ever met. You're going to grow so much. You are going to act. I know that's hard to believe, you've always been called shy, but by god you are going to act on a stage in front of people and you're going to be good at it. You're going to love it. You're going to feel like you've found a home. It's going to be one of the bravest things you've ever done.

Life isn't going to come easy, though. On top of learning to live by yourself, budget your money, and kick yourself out of bed in the morning, you're going to also deal with some serious stuff. I won't tell you, but please be strong. It’ll be okay. Call mom and dad every day and tell them you love them. They're going to help you and love you and be there for you the whole way through. When you go after your dream, they're going to support you even if they don't understand. They're going to hate that you're so far away from home, but they're going to buy you what you need, help you with your first apartment, give you money so you can eat when you have no money left, listen to your funny stories and angry rants, send you cards that you’ll still have years from now, and drive up and down the state just to see you. You’ll be scared at first, but you’ll make that drive too. Eventually it’ll become a routine and you're going to become a really good driver. You’ll also end up listening to lots of Broadway cast albums this way. You know who’ll be the one suggesting those.

With all these changes happening, you're going to change your appearance too. I think you’d like the you that's writing this letter. I do my eyebrows now, I’m great at makeup when I can be bothered to do it, I have red hair instead of blonde (I know you've always wanted red hair. Guess what, it looks great!), I have two tattoos (I'm as shocked as you are), and I dress much better than you do. Don't worry, you start to change that part pretty quickly. As the years pass, you're going to change your personal style a lot. Haircuts will abound, hair color will cycle through a spectrum of all natural colors except black, and you'll try to keep your clothes on trend before you realize that you should just wear what makes you happy. I know the burning question you have in your mind, “Do I lose a bunch of weight and look how I've always wanted to?” The short answer? No. Health issues will arise that will explain much of that. I know, I'm as disappointed as you. There are days where I hate myself still, but most days I'm okay with my body. You’ll learn to love it. Just eat well and do that yoga you love so much. Don't compare yourself to the Instagram-worthy girls that pass by with their size 0 waists and perfect hair. You're beautiful too. You don't believe it now, but you will. I promise.

I know that this is all hard to believe, but you are going to grow so much. Your voice is going to get louder, your ideas are going to get stronger, and you are going to be so brave. It's unbelievable how brave you're going to be. Knowing what you're going to experience, I'm excited for you. I wish I could go back and re-live some of what you’re going to do. I also wish I could spare you from some of it. Five years is a long time. High school is fresh in your mind right now, but it's going to feel like forever and a day ago very soon. College is going to be better than high school. Even with all of the ups and downs, it's going to be better. You're going to be better.

You can do it. I quite literally know that you can. I'm here waiting just on the other side for you. I'm here cheering you on. I'm here when you feel like your chest is collapsing and the world has gone black. I'm here when your face hurts from laughing with your friends. I'm here when your cheeks are hot with tears and you feel like you have no one to talk to. I'm here when you take you're first bow in front of an audience and your heart is in your throat and you feel like you can fly.

I'm here for you. I love you. You’ve got this.

With all of my heart,

Your 23 year-old self.