We were young when we met and everything seemed perfect at the time. But the moment I got pregnant, things went downhill and we can’t deny it. I don’t know if it was purely based on how much my attitude had changed, or if it was because you just lost interest in me. But there comes a time when men do have to understand that a pregnant woman’s attitude does tend to change. Rather it’s small or drastically.
I got pregnant in October of 2012 and we had found out later in January that we were expecting our little girl. I thought things would stay perfect forever, but it didn’t and you cheated on me when I was eight months pregnant. I thought things were going to last. It wasn’t until after our daughter was born that things got really heated and we had broken up two serious times. There was always a place in my heart for you and deep down I had believed we would always come back out on top.
Our daughter was a year and a half when we broke up for the final time and in the two years that we have been broken up, you’ve only seen her three times. Now I know if you’re reading this or if you ever do, you’ll blame me. That’s what people do right? Blame others for their actions. But you can’t blame me for you walking out on us, you can’t blame me for you leaving work and hanging out with a chick that I had claimed you were cheating on me with. When I got out of the hospital, the next three days that I was home you refused to come home. You didn’t even think of our daughter.
No one ever knows the whole story with you because you tend to leave out the details. The details in which you chose your friends over our daughter, the details that you chose drinking and doing drugs over our daughter. And you can’t use the excuse that I drove you away and that is why you did the things you did. Simply put you just tend to blame me for everything.
Our daughter is almost four years old now and I am doing everything in my power to raise her, with or without you. You cannot blame me for you never seeing our daughter. You can’t spread rumors about me “not letting you see her”. I have said on numerous occasions that you can see her all you want, but you will not take her with you. And that is because I know that no matter how many times you say you won’t put our child in danger, I know better. You smoked around her when we were together and drank.
I have been taking care of our daughter for two years on my own. Yes, I get child support from you but that is all I get. Child support doesn’t give you all of the rights that you believe they do. I am the one that tucks her in at night, I’m the one that is there to pick her back up when she falls and hurts herself. You’re not, and that is because you were just there to put a baby inside of me. Nothing more. You think that coming in and out of her life isn’t going to affect her? You’re wrong and I have yet to see you try to be in her life definitely.
She’s my daughter.
I’m taking her to physical therapy, I’m the one that is there to put her on the bus for school, I’m the one that is there to feed and clothe her. I have yet to see you try and frankly all you’re doing, or are going to do is going to wind up damaging her. You were never there when she got up in the middle of the night to feed her bottle to her. You were never there when it was dinner time and she made a mess on that high chair. You were never there when she said “Da-Da” for the first time. Moral of the story is, you were never there. And as you’re living the single life, or the relationship life, I am sitting here day in and day out taking care of our daughter. While you’re going out and partying, I’m partying by sitting at home watching Paw Patrol and drinking sweet tea.
The life of a parent is rough, and being a single parent makes it rougher. I go out every once in awhile. Once a month if I’m lucky, other than that its usually once every three months. I don’t know what it feels like to live my 20′s because I had to grow up fast with a newborn at the age of nineteen. And as I struggle and look like a bum 24/7, I wouldn’t trade any of this for the world. I’m a mother, I’m a nurturer, I’m a bodyguard…but most importantly I am doing this on my own.
