To the Little Girl I Once Was,
I want you to know that you will be OK. Everything will turn out OK- and you will, I know it's hard to believe, but you will get over that boy you met by chance on Facebook in eighth grade. You will not always struggle day in, and day out with school. There will be a day that your room won't look as if a tornado ran through it every single morning after you leave for school. There will be a day that you will not be late because you were searching for the perfect outfit. There will be a day where you get up in the morning, and tackle your day in the outfit you picked out- and you will not feel as if everyone is wearing something that is better than what you are.
I want you to know that you will eventually become a woman. One with intent, integrity, motivation, and confidence. You will eventually reach a point where you don't want to run away, in fact, you will even find yourself content with where you are, and even where you are off to. I want you to know that it's OK to want to disappear, it's normal to feel restless and it's OK to make and break friendships.
I want to advise you that what you put into your friendships will not always be what you get out; so choose wisely. There will be a day when you're sitting in your basement with your girlfriends - laughing, sharing wine coolers, and gossiping about that boy in your freshman Environmental Science class that you have a crush on. And just remember that when you spill your heart out to them, that they will tell him every last detail of everything you said. But I want you to know that if this is the case, then they're not your best friends- and that's OK. I want you to know that it is healthy to lose touch with people and that it will not always be your fault that it happened. I want you to remember and acknowledge that the phone goes both ways, and that effort needs to be put forth from both parties.
Speaking of effort- I want you to remember what you deserve. And I can confidently say that there will be a day that you have that, you will feel it, and you will find someone who gives you everything that you've been longing for. You should know that there will be a day that you're holding hands with that guy from your Science class, and you may feel trapped, confused, and perhaps lost, but I want you to know, that if it's not making you happy, you need to walk away from it. Break up with the boy, don't fake feelings, let him go in the most gracious way you possibly can. There will be a day that you won't write out a text, backspace it, and rewrite it again just to leave him. And there will eventually be a time that you won't ever feel unwanted, taken for granted, or forgotten about; all you have to do is wait for it.
Just remember that where you are right now, is not where you will be tomorrow, or in a week from now, or even in a year from this exact moment. You will grow, you will learn, and you will learn to accept challenges, and even overcome them. You will eventually know how to appreciate your good days, and how to battle through your bad ones. Your parents…..you know, the people you are giving a run for their money right now…. will soon become your best friends, and truly two of the few people you can trust wholeheartedly. So please, go easy on them. As for your friends, treasure them, enjoy them, laugh with them, and cry with them, but do not have your time wasted by anyone who is not cheering you on through each and every obstacle you're facing.
Just remember that there will not be a day when this whole thing gets easier- this whole life "thing." Just remember that there's not a right or wrong way to do it, and you are surrounded by people who are just trying to get by; as you are. Be gentle with people. We're all fighting our own battles- we're dealing with crazy ex-boyfriends, bad friend breakups, we're trying to keep our grades up, make it to work on time, make time to eat, sleep, and even exercise. I want you to know that there will be a day that you will feel completely OK. Just wait for it, and enjoy every moment as much as you can until then.
Love,
The person whom I needed when I was younger
