Hello there, how are you?
How is your mom? Your sisters? Hows your little puppy; and how is the small business your family runs? I wonder the answers to these questions when I drive through this small dreary town we used to reside it.
Does your family ever ask about me or how I am doing? Do you ever think about me? Is it bad? Do you wish we went any other way than we did?
When I drive through the one main high way that will take you anywhere you need to go in this town, I have vivid flashbacks of all the memories we shared. The good, great, and even the ugliest memories. It's like one of those flashbacks you see in a TV show, but it's actual real life. I can't help but forget them; they helped me grow, helped me learn, but most of all helped me learn you. And that's how I fell in love with you. The longer I spent understanding you, analyzing why you did this or that, and your little ticks or pet peeves, the deeper I dug.
Today for some reason I got the sudden urge to check your social media and see whats been up. Right after I typed your username out I realized I shouldn't have. You and the girl you left me for look so in love. Absolutely head over heels for one another. It forced me recall the times you looked at me in my big brown eyes how you look at hers now. It also made me have an anxiety attack when I seen her at your family's vacation house on the lake in the bedroom I once called mine. I thought about all of the laughter, tickle fights till we cried, cuddles, jet ski rides, romantic dinner dates, parties, and being soaked in grease at McDonald's but still sharing a kiss in the back room because we loved one another that much.
For a second though, I also began to think about just how toxic we were for one another. The fights, you coming so close to running us off the road from screaming, my negative habits I threw on you, and how much time we spent away from one another because of them. I thought about how much the negatives outweighed the positives; even though the positives felt so damn good when we had them.
I realized that I loved you Kyle James. I loved you more than I had ever loved anyone at that time. But all good things must come to an end if storms are creeping so close to it. You cant beat the storm.
Most of all I realized that I will probably wonder how you are the rest of my life, and I am okay with that.
I just hope she makes you happy; that's all. And I hope her big brown eyes are as pretty as mine were to you, because you deserve it.
