I won’t sit here and say that I understand exactly how you feel because I don’t… And I know you must be wondering, “Well, how doesn’t she understand? She just lost her uncle.” Unfortunately, I did. That still doesn’t mean I understand what you’re going through though. Everyone grieves differently.
They say there are five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and, finally, acceptance. To me, grief is so much more than that. Grief is an emotion we cannot fully understand until we are forced into it. It is not easy, nor is it pretty or kind. It’s confusion, isolation, pain, utter disbelief, and everything that falls in between.
Losing someone you care deeply about is very painful. You experience many difficult emotions, and it almost feels as if the pain and sadness you’re experiencing in your heart will never lighten up.
I’m here to tell you that in time, it will all make sense. You will understand why God has put your through the tragedy that he did, and you will realize how much you have learned. I, myself, am a completely different person than I was just a week ago… Through the process of self-discovery that I embarked upon due to grief, I have become more confident and a much stronger person.
In life and in death, my uncle has taught me that no matter what life throws at you (and believe me, life can throw you some crappy cards), enjoy it to the fullest. That is exactly what he did. He taught me to never give up on what I love and to always ride through life with heart, humor, and love.
From the outside looking in…
From the outside looking in, it is easy for the world to assume who is taking the loss lightly and who is taking the loss rather well. For a moment, I urge you to consider something. Rather than look from the outside in, try another perspective - the inside looking out.
There is no correct way to grieve. Some people grieve externally, while others grieve internally. You may think that you would react differently to certain deaths than others; however, grief is not something you can plan for. Everyone grieves differently, and I encourage you to acknowledge and respect that.
Some people may feel the need to frequently visit the cemetery where their loved one is laid to rest, while others may feel as if the memories they hold within their hearts are enough. Some people cannot speak a loved one’s name without bursting into tears, while others can speak of them freely.
You will never understand what some people go through until the smell of certain cologne knocks you to your knees, or a song on the radio forces you to pull over to the side of the road. You will never understand until you hear a motorcycle outside your window, and you're forced to hold back tears, or you come across your uncle’s favorite Buckwheat shirt, and you feel as if your heart will never heal.
I pray you do not have to withstand tragedy to get firsthand knowledge. But it is inevitable that we will experience death and grief at some point in our lives.
I ask that you please… Hold the hand of your loved ones. Don’t ever pass up an opportunity to tell those near and dear to you just how much they mean. Never miss a chance to say how much you love and cherish them, for tomorrow is never promised…
To my grieving family…
The empty hole in our hearts will forever feel heavy, but I pray that we will somehow learn to live around it. There will be days when we are not lovable, and I urge you to love each other anyway. Pain changes people, and it is important for us to know that we have each other's backs... Through thick and thin. Love each other for each of us is grieving in our own way. Stand beside one another through this heartbreaking journey.
To the amazing friends who have been here for all of us…
Thank you to all of our friends, family, and coworkers for being so selfless during this extremely hard time and for being a shoulder to cry on, and an ear to listen.
To the most loved man on the planet – my uncle…
You were a humble, giving, and incredible man. You’ve touched more hearts than anyone can count. You were taken away from us too soon, and you are greatly missed by us all. We will forever cherish your unique and unfiltered sense of humor. Our family lost a huge piece of our puzzle, and we’re not entirely sure how we will go on from here. But we promise, we’re going to figure it out because we know you wouldn’t expect anything less. You are so loved, Uncle Dave. Rest easy, my beautiful guardian angel.
In Loving Memory of David Michael Bradford
November 18, 1951 – May 31, 2016
