So this week I have an interview for my first post-grad job. It's really exciting, naturally, but also completely terrifying. Because here's the catch: it is two hours away from home.
All of a sudden, it all became so much more real to me. So for those of you in a similar position, whether moving to a college far away or just moving our of your parents' house for the first time, here's what I am learning.
Start saying goodbye. No, I don't mean that you should start bawling over your mom every time you give her a hug, and no I don't mean you should stop paying attention to your life now. Instead, start recognizing that the place you are in will not last forever. As glamorous as it may look in the movies, having a dramatic breakdown and goodbyes on the day of your move is not essential. We can start letting go of some things now, and start preparing our hearts for the huge changes coming our way.
With regards to letting go, we have to be careful not to start throwing up walls. Separated by a significant distance is scary and can seem like a wall. But when you think about it, how often do you see some of your friends? Sometimes I don't see my best friend for two or three weeks, especially when school is in, but we communicate in other ways. So why does it matter that we will be texting from a couple hundred miles away instead of a couple dozen? It doesn't, so we can't let ourselves cut important people from our lives just because they will not be in the immediate vicinity anymore. Cherish the spontaneous coffee runs now, but let your friendship change and grow when you move, not disappear.
Now once you accept that some, if not all, of the people you know will be hours away from you, there are other obstacles. One of the most debilitating obstacles--fear. When I start to think of having every bill in my name, having only myself to depend on for the small problems of every day life, and having to start a life from the ground up, fear sits itself just below my chest. Eating isn't appealing, reading and TV don't distract you, and your eyes get rather darty for no reason.
But as awful as this fear is, we can't ignore it. We can't pretend it isn't there because then it will rear its head at some other time. So we have to face it. Reason through the fears we can. Talk to those around us and realize that there is help out there, and no matter the distance we could never be alone. Not with the family and friends that surround us. And realize that the fear is showing us that something new and great and exciting is just around the corner.
So have a plan. Make a budget. Have a back up plan. There is enough scary moments ahead, don't let the small fears of now grow, because it will snowball. We are the grown-ups now. We are the ones that teenagers look at and think "wow they have their life together." So if it doesn't feel like it, fake it. Ask questions, be afraid, but go through it anyway. Something great is coming just ahead, and while it may be further away from home, it will still be great. We can do this. Right?
