An Open Letter to the Girl with the "What Ifs"

An Open Letter to the Girl with the "What Ifs"

Yes, it's tough-- those little thoughts that never leave. But heres what you don't know-- you're stronger than them.
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I think the scariest parts about relationships are the "what ifs"— the constant wonder of what might come. You never know what is to happen the next day, the next night, or even the next hour. One day they love you, and care about you, and the next they leave you and try to justify it with an apology. That's just how it goes some times. If you're anything like me, you spend your nights (and sometimes days) wondering “what if.” What if he finds someone new, what if he breaks my heart, what if he leaves, what if he stops talking to me, what if.
You see, girls like us notice EVERYTHING. And by everything, I mean we notice anything from the slightest change in your body language, to a difference in the way you text us. We’re so paranoid about being left alone and heartbroken in the dark, that we freak out anytime something changes. Maybe it doesn't even change, maybe we just think it does. Those “what ifs” have been pounded into our head so hard, we can’t escape them. You tell us to “trust you” and that, “you wont hurt us” and honestly, that's something we would love to do more than anything. We would love to trust you so easily; we would if we could. But we can’t. Its nothing you did, it all goes back to how hurt we’ve been in the past. There's nothing to do but wait. Did you hear me? Do I need to say it again? There is nothing to do but wait. PATIENTLY. Ladies, if he cannot wait for you to trust him, HE DOES NOT DESERVE YOUR TRUST. If he cannot wait for you to love him, HE DOES NOT DESERVE YOUR LOVE. Point. Blank. Period.
Now, sometimes, us girls miss out on something that could be awesome, because we’re afraid to trust you, or let ourselves be hoary with you, even after all this time. Ladies: If there's something that has even the slightest chance of making you happy, GO FOR IT. Take that risk!! Life is WAY too short to “play it safe.” Those “what ifs” are going to be in your head forever. PUSH PAST THEM FOR ONCE DAMN IT. Do what YOU want! Trust faster than usual, love too deeply, fall too hard. Sometimes it’s going to hurt like hell, but you know what? It is OKAY to cry. It is OKAY to hurt. It is OKAY to get knocked down. It is NOT OKAY to stay down. You are not defined by how many times you get knocked down; you are defined by how long you stay down. It’s going to hurt. You might lose him. But whatever you do, DO NOT lose the lesson it taught you. The possibilities will always be there; Always, no matter what. But remember— not all possibilities are bad.

Cover Image Credit: Google

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17 Empowering Bible Verses For Women

You go, girl.
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We all have those days where we let the negative thoughts that we're "not good enough," "not pretty enough" or "not smart enough" invade our minds. It's easy to lose hope in these situations and to feel like it would be easier to just give up. However, the Bible reminds us that these things that we tell ourselves are not true and it gives us the affirmations that we need. Let these verses give you the power and motivation that you're lacking.

1. Proverbs 31:25

"She is clothed with strength and dignity and she laughs without fear of the future."

2. Psalm 46:5

"God is within her, she will not fall."

3. Luke 1:45

"Blessed is she who believed that the Lord would fulfill His promises to her."

4. Proverbs 31:17

"She is energetic and strong, a hard worker."

5. Psalm 28:7

"The Lord is my strength and my shield."

6. Proverbs 11:16

"A gracious woman gains respect, but ruthless men gain only wealth."

7. Joshua 1:9

"Be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go."

8. Proverbs 31:30

"Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised."

9. 1 Corinthians 15:10

"By the grace of God, I am what I am."

10. Proverbs 31:26

"When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness."

11. Psalm 139:14

"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made."

12. 1 Peter 3:3-4

"Don't be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God."

13. Colossians 2:10

"And in Christ you have been brought to fullness."

14. 2 Timothy 1:7

"For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline."

15. Jeremiah 29:11

"'For I know the plans I have for you,' says the Lord. 'They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.'"

16. Exodus 14:14

"The Lord himself will fight for you. Just stay calm."

17. Song of Songs 4:7

"You are altogether beautiful, my darling, beautiful in every way."

Next time you're feeling discouraged or weak, come back to these verses and use them to give you the strength and power that you need to conquer your battles.

Cover Image Credit: Julia Waterbury

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When Everyone Around You Is In a Relationship And You're Still Single

You might feel pressure to start a relationship, but reconsider...

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I'm not sure how or when exactly it happened, but it suddenly seems like everyone I know is in a relationship. While I'm happy for them, it can be kinda...depressing. Nauseating. Exhausting.

It builds slowly at first: the subtle side-eye you give your friend as they're on the phone with their S.O., the little pang of jealousy you get when your cousin posts their engagement pictures on Facebook, the way you feel when your Snapchat Stories are full of people on cute dinner dates.

Suddenly, it's a Thursday afternoon and you just snapped over an Instagram post of your friend and his boyfriend on their anniversary. We've all been there. I may or may not be there currently.

The worst advice you can get when you're feeling down about not having an S.O. is "Don't worry! You'll find someone!"(Especially when it's coming from someone in a happy relationship).

I'm here to give you the actual advice that you (and I) need to hear. You do not need a relationship to be happy, satisfied, or whole.

Here's the truth: you're gonna be just fine without a relationship. You are young. You are educated. You are ambitious and have your whole future ahead of you.

You are a complete person on your own who does not need another person to validate you or make your life worth enjoying. I'm not saying a relationship can't be satisfying and fun. I am saying that being in a relationship is not the end all, be all of happiness.

If you are spending your time waiting for a relationship and looking for it in every person you meet, you can end up missing out on so much of your life. Instead of being jealous of every couple around you and being bitter that you can't seem to find the "right person," try figuring out how to enjoy spending time as an individual.

You will have more time to devote to exploring new interests, developing new skills, and meeting new people. Your social, emotional, and mental wellbeing will become priorities.

Plus, just because you aren't in a relationship or looking for a relationship, that doesn't mean you won't have romantic/sexual experiences. You can still go on dates and develop relationships with people you are attracted to without the pressure to turn it into a serious relationship. Once you remove that expectation from your mind, you might even find it easier to meet, talk to, and connect with people.

When you stop focusing all your energy and hopes onto being in a romantic relationship, you open the door to new experiences, opportunities, and people. Most importantly, you are able to refocus and recenter your life around growth as an individual, which will lead to a healthier and more solid basis for any future relationships.

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