An Open Letter to the Girl with the "What Ifs"

An Open Letter to the Girl with the "What Ifs"

Yes, it's tough-- those little thoughts that never leave. But heres what you don't know-- you're stronger than them.


I think the scariest parts about relationships are the "what ifs"— the constant wonder of what might come. You never know what is to happen the next day, the next night, or even the next hour. One day they love you, and care about you, and the next they leave you and try to justify it with an apology. That's just how it goes some times. If you're anything like me, you spend your nights (and sometimes days) wondering “what if.” What if he finds someone new, what if he breaks my heart, what if he leaves, what if he stops talking to me, what if.
You see, girls like us notice EVERYTHING. And by everything, I mean we notice anything from the slightest change in your body language, to a difference in the way you text us. We’re so paranoid about being left alone and heartbroken in the dark, that we freak out anytime something changes. Maybe it doesn't even change, maybe we just think it does. Those “what ifs” have been pounded into our head so hard, we can’t escape them. You tell us to “trust you” and that, “you wont hurt us” and honestly, that's something we would love to do more than anything. We would love to trust you so easily; we would if we could. But we can’t. Its nothing you did, it all goes back to how hurt we’ve been in the past. There's nothing to do but wait. Did you hear me? Do I need to say it again? There is nothing to do but wait. PATIENTLY. Ladies, if he cannot wait for you to trust him, HE DOES NOT DESERVE YOUR TRUST. If he cannot wait for you to love him, HE DOES NOT DESERVE YOUR LOVE. Point. Blank. Period.
Now, sometimes, us girls miss out on something that could be awesome, because we’re afraid to trust you, or let ourselves be hoary with you, even after all this time. Ladies: If there's something that has even the slightest chance of making you happy, GO FOR IT. Take that risk!! Life is WAY too short to “play it safe.” Those “what ifs” are going to be in your head forever. PUSH PAST THEM FOR ONCE DAMN IT. Do what YOU want! Trust faster than usual, love too deeply, fall too hard. Sometimes it’s going to hurt like hell, but you know what? It is OKAY to cry. It is OKAY to hurt. It is OKAY to get knocked down. It is NOT OKAY to stay down. You are not defined by how many times you get knocked down; you are defined by how long you stay down. It’s going to hurt. You might lose him. But whatever you do, DO NOT lose the lesson it taught you. The possibilities will always be there; Always, no matter what. But remember— not all possibilities are bad.

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