Okay full disclosure: I’m not completely sure what an open letter even is. Like aren’t any letters that are readable considered “open?” I have never read a closed letter before… mostly due to my lack of x-ray vision (bad joke). But I don’t think I have ever seen an Odyssey article with the title “A Letter to _________,” so here we are. To open my open letter (said sarcastically) I want to tell you about the sweet thang that inspired this article… Okay okay I know literally nothing about her beside what she happened to be doing on the day of March 12th around the time of 11am. Location: the D line subway in the beloved Bronx. My friends and I are verbally worrying about “friggin frost bite claiming another southerner,” while pushing our coach purses out of the way to zip up our Patagonia jackets. In walked two little girls (estimated ages 4 and 6). The older of the two was selling a folder full of pictures that she had drawn. The younger was literally speaking in tongues, praying that someone would pay 5 dollars for one of these masterpieces. There were no parents on that train. Just little girl wearing a tiara and her hopeful sister, making a living. It was an image I won’t soon be forgetting.
To the girl with the tiara,
You have worth. This worth is far more than five dollars for one of your masterpieces. Girl, you are worth more than my Coach Purse and Patagonia jacket combined. In fact, I’d go as far to say that this worth extends past the poverty that you are already so well acquainted with. Because this worth has no price tag. The unit of measurement is love, and the measurement is in-friggin-finity. You may not know this, and I don’t want to make any assumptions about a situation that I have no insight into. But trust me, girl, I wish I had insight.
I wish I had spent the five dollars to support two girls with infinite opportunity for a real future. I wish the angel on my left shoulder would can it. This is not the same angel that exists in the Emperor’s New Groove who wants the best for the owner of the shoulder that they stand upon. This is the angel who wants the owner of the shoulder to make sure they take the safe choice. This angel gives a one-way ticket to “better than you” land. This angel is the one who told me not to hold eye contact with anyone hurting in New York because that would require me to dismount my high horse (God forbid it). So, yes, the weeny in the Patagonia jacket staring at the floor of the D line subway on March 12th around the time of 11am was, in fact, me. I saved my almighty high horse, at the expense of a beautiful opportunity to speak life into two hurting girls. (If you aren’t cringing upon reading the previous sentence, I’d venture to say that your left shoulder angel has a pretty strong grip on you.) So sweet girl in the tiara, I pray that you don’t ever gauge your worth based on the reaction of most holy rollers like myself that you encounter every day.
I say this because your worth is just as much as the people like myself who look the other way. You are loved, and so am I. We all wear the title of Princess in the eyes of One. Neither of us deserve this title, nor can we earn this title even if we love on every single hurting person in the great city of New York or do every selfless action that we could possibly imagine. And that’s kinda the cool thing about humanity: the fact that we can never deserve the worth we have. I think that if grace was summed up on one word it would be “undeserving.” Someone loves you for you, not for what you can do for them. This is unlike any parents that expect you to make money by selling pictures. This is unlike any buyers of your product who need some extra charity points. This is actually unlike any human relationship. This is simply love.
So yes, you have a hope for a future that is more than your present situation. You may not think you deserve a future like this. You may think that you do not have potential for a future like this. You may think that no one is rooting for your future. But there is, in fact, Someone who is not only rooting for your future, but also controlling and protecting your future. You are a Princess, and you are loved.
Lots of love,
The weeny on the D subway
“Open” side note:
There is a message to the readers embedded in my “open letter.” DON’T BE THE WEENY ON THE D SUBWAY. My time in New York opened my eyes to how much opportunity there is to serve in this broken world. I think an aspect of human nature that we like to view as forgivable is the tendency to view ourselves as “too good” to help others. Like we might dirty our hands and our dignity if we support people who are hurting. The other day someone told me that they are “against homelessness”. I mean, shoot, I’m pretty sure the homeless people are too, home girl! As Christians, we want to serve, but when we are faced with a situation like a pair of sisters selling their artwork so that they can buy dinner, we look the other way. God forbid we support the people that need help. I’m not sure if this is due to the mindset that someone else can take the “burden” of helping or if it is due to a subconscious resentment of the homeless people for not trying harder. Reading these, they both sound silly, but something is driving the high horse that won’t allow us to help the broken world we are living in. Giving should never be a burden, people. Giving is an opportunity to share the wealth that isn’t really ours, anyway. We are given so much every day, so we should continue to pour out the love and the wealth that we do not deserve.
Lots of love,
The weeny on the D subway who is walking away from the beloved high horse
