I have been where you are, feeling like nothing you ever do is good enough, feeling like the world may be better off without you in it, feeling like you are worthless and unloved. I have spent many nights crying myself to sleep, thinking about how much I hate myself and my life. I have put on a fake smile and pretended like everything was okay when it wasn’t. I have been there. I have been that person who doesn’t know what to do with a compliment, who takes things to heart, who constantly wonders if people actually like me. I have been here. I have been the girl that eats her feelings. I have been the girl that wishes she was skinny and who could eat anything she wanted and never gain a single pound. I have been the girl that shuts people out of her life because it is easier than facing a problem. I have been there done that and I am here to tell you that it gets better. It is not easy to carry sadness in your soul, it is something that I still struggle with, there is no quick fix to this problem. It comes and goes the sadness. It can turn a great day into a horrible one in a blink of an eye with one bad thought that comes into your head, that’s all it takes.
The sadness is complicated and never easily explained. I understand. I understand it well, the sadness in your soul, I have been there too. It took me waking up one day and seeing how overweight I had gotten to see how much the sadness in my soul had affected my life, you can try and drown in alcohol but it only comes back stronger the next day. I turned to exercising with upbeat music and eating better to tackle the sadness and every pound that I lost, the sadness started to fade.
I realized that I am worth something, I am loved, I belong on this earth and that life is worth living. Exercising and writing are my ways of dealing with the sadness that comes and goes. It helps to write down my thoughts and to pin point what exactly is making me sad so that I can work on a way to fix it or at least try to figure out what is making me feel this way.
It is possible to work through the sadness. It is possible to actually be happy and to feel like you have a purpose in your life. It helps to have friends around you that are supportive and who can help you through the dark times. It helps to talk about it as much as you can to get it out. The sadness doesn’t have to define you, don’t ever let it stop you from living your best life.
Treat yourself with love and care and know that I am always here to listen because I have been there too.
