Dear Broken-Hearted Girl,
It hurts. Trust me, I know.
You feel your heart break the second you realize you don't mean as much to the person who means the world to you. You don't know why, but all you can think is, "Why am I second best?" The truth is, you are not second best. You are far from it; you never were and never will be. Unfortunately, the other person neglects or refuses to see how great you are.
You have done everything for this person: called him or her the second that person needed to talk, drove to him or her the minute he or she felt alone, stayed with him or her all night when something had gone wrong, dropped everything the instant he or she wanted you to do something, and so, so much more. You have been there, not just physically, but emotionally, as well. You are the one person who never walked away even when that person has turned his or her back on you a countless number of times. You never once perceived his or her problems as an inconvenience, though he or she has told you multiple times that your issues were.
Though you have done all of this, and much more that you probably don't even remember doing, the second there is a miscommunication or you have done something wrong in his or her eyes, you're finished. Whatever worth you held to him or her has vanished. You reach out, cry, and ask others what you did wrong, and all they can say is, " You did nothing wrong. It's him/her that can't see how great you are", or, "It's him or her that has the problem."
But then still.
You don't understand. You search for days that turn into weeks that turn into months to find your answer, but you just can't. It seems like everything is crumbling in. People tell you not to let it hold you back, but what they don't understand is what that person meant to you and how much time it will take to fix the hole that person cut through you. You start to notice people are getting tired of hearing the same story over and over, again, but you can't stop telling it because you are still trying to find the missing puzzle piece.
But you can't.
It's not there. It's lost ... Like you. You see that person live his/her life as if you never mattered. You see that person start calling someone else his or her best friend as if to punish you. You wonder when something is going to give before you do.
But it doesn't.
The truth is, it may never. As long as you're tainted to that person, you will not ever be good enough. No matter how much you loved him or her, that person does not care. No matter what you do, it irreparable to that person. You may continue to see tweets and posts of his/her crowning a new "best friend", or "girlfriend." Though you never gave up that title, that person took it away. You want it back and you will do anything.
But you won't be able to defend your title.
Because, sweet girl, the hardest part of it is they do not love as much as you. It is so easy for them to point fingers, but the day will come when he or she realizes there are many more fingers pointed directly back at him or her. When that day comes, because of who you are, you will probably accept them back into your life without question. The reason is you love too much.
You truly love!
Though it is great, it is your fatal flaw. Because you love too much, you hurt 100x more. The person who has hurt you will probably text or call from time to time when it is convenient for him or her, only for help when he or she needs it. You will still pick up or respond and offer your best advice because it is the hardest thing for you to do is act like you don't care, For that a split second, you feel whole again because it feels that person finally wants you back.
Be careful.
Though it may seem that way, it may not be the case. Because that person cannot reciprocate the same effort when he or she knows you are in trouble shows he or she is not genuine, and it is all one-sided. Until he or she can be for you what you are to him or her, find people that make you happy. Find people that will never take your undying love for granted.
Your love is timeless.
But spend that time loving someone that deserves it. You'll be alright. The future holds much for people who love like you. Just never forget your values and what you want in a friend, or boyfriend/girlfriend, and remember ... that person isn't it. If and when he or she comes around ...
And he or she will ...
Know that he or she has a lot of proving to do. Never forget the heartache. Forgive, but do not forget. These types of memories make you the strongest. You will grow to be happier, healthier, and before you know it ... You will just as equally be loved.
Just hold on.
Love,
A Girl That Knows
