Dear Dad,

When you left us when I was only 7. I looked towards myself in an effort to place the blame on someone. Now that I’m much older and have become my own man I want to tell you thank you for leaving. You didn’t provide me with the “normal” life of a child by staying around and being a father. You may have been there on the weekends I would go to your apartment in the years following the finalization of the divorce. You may have been there to coach my little league sports teams. The only problem was that during this time you didn’t teach me anything.

You didn’t teach me how to be a man. I was never taught how to shave, or even how to handle the crazy voice change I had in the eighth and ninth grades. You never taught me the trades of being a man. You know what? Scratch that. You never taught me what it was like to be an actual father. You never taught me how to be a good husband, or how to treat a woman. Despite all of this, I forgive you.

I’ve spent the last 13 years thinking about all of the horrible things I could have said about you leaving Mom and me. I believe I’ve finally grown into the man I was destined to be. I also believe this was because of you. Yes, I’ve had to grow up much faster than other kids. Yes, I didn’t have a father at home. Yes, I’ve seen my own mother break down in tears in our front yard after you left. Even in the wake of all of this mayhem throughout my life. I want to thank you.

By not teaching me anything, you helped me learn everything. Most of this I had to learn on my own. Some of it you directly taught me by doing the exact opposite when I was young. The things you actually taught me were never to leave your family, and that a marriage isn’t disposable. Yes, this hurt Mom, but do you want to know who was still there fully for their child even after all of this happened? She was. I know it is weird to think about it, but she has been more of a father to me than you have ever been or ever will be. Even though this is the case. I still can’t thank you enough.

Because of your absence, I’ve had more great father figures come into my life. To my uncle that taught me the dos and don’ts for my first high school prom. I thank you for letting him be able to be here. I can’t forget about my amazing cousins that have given me someone to look up too and a bar to uphold. I thank you for letting them be able to be here. Of course that isn’t all of the new father figures I have in my life thanks to you. I guess what I’m really getting at is. You’ve actually given me the best father figures ever, and they have taught me more than you ever could have if you would have stayed. With that said I have one last thing to say, and that is. Thanks, Dad. Even though you left, you’ve taught me so much.