Dear _______,
This is in no means a letter to bash you, or even point out the stuff you did to me. This letter will explain my feelings to you in every way that I can -- I hope you understand.
I’m not saying I regret you because at one point, you were all that I ever wanted. You made my days worth waking up for and made my smile the brightest it can be. Little did I know that you were only staying for a few storms, but not the hurricane. By that I mean, you stayed through a few hard parts in my life, but when it came down to the major downfall, you left quicker than my own father did. You knew my past, my struggles, my friends, you knew me. I showed you off to everyone and talked so highly of you, but you did the exact opposite for me. You took my love for granted and stomped on my heart. I gave you my heart and all you did was stomp on me, and yet... I apologized for every little thing. That's the thing: when you love someone the way I did with you, they can stomp on your heart but you would apologize for getting their shoes dirty. You made me feel like I was oh so beautiful, like no one could do anything to me...You and I against the world… right? You knew about how my father left me at an early age, and from that I fear everyone will always leave me as easily as he did. You PROMISED me you wouldn’t leave... But you were gone in a matter of weeks. You said you loved storms, so I let you in, but it turned out you could only handle a little rain...and I was a hurricane.
You made me feel like I was nothing when you cheated on me. I spent my days locked in my room, crying, and contemplating suicidal thoughts. (Now before anyone says that is crazy, just know this was basically my first love -- he understood me so much.) You never even said sorry for what you put me through, you live your days happy as can be. I spent hours in therapy over you, spent hours crying over you, I lost so much sleep over you; to the point where I got physically sick over it. You bashed me on social media daily and made me feel so small, yet for some odd reason...I still loved you. I see you’re doing better which is amazing. It took me a few years to recover from you -- in fact I still have nightmares and flashbacks from you. I just have to say one thing to you: I don’t hate you.
I don’t hate you because you led me right to someone who treats me like I am their world. They can handle all of my storms and all my hurricane moments. He amazes me with how much he can handle my moments like that and yet still make me feel so special. He took me in when all you did was leave me in the dirt. I just want to say thank you. Thank you so much for hurting me; it feels like such an odd thing to thank someone for, but thank you. Without you, I wouldn’t have learned that I deserve the love I give. Without you, I wouldn’t have learned that I am stronger than my storms, and that someone can love me even with those. You always told me that no one would love me with my issues, but surprise. Thank you for everything, and I hope you find the person that makes you feel like the way mine does. Thank you for changing my life.
Love,
The girl you broke and repaired.
