I'm almost 22 years old, I do not need you now. That's right, you may have missed the terrible two's and bratty teenage years, but it seems I still have an attitude and an anger problem I no doubt got from you. I'm not holding grudges, or resent you like I should. I really have no feelings when it comes to you. You decided I did not get the chance to know you. You may blame my mom or even blame me and my brothers, but the only person that the blame belongs to is you.
Do you know what its like to feel like you are not good enough for one of your parents? I have felt like this for as long as I can remember. Since I was a little girl I never understood why he at least didn't try and give me the choice, if I wanted him in my life. I should have been an aloud an opinion. But he just disappeared.
Today I do not want to be upset or think I am not good enough for him. I want to thank him for giving me a better life. A life without him.
This is a poem I wrote for him:
I never got the chance,
To be your little girl,
To be daddy’s girl,
To be your baby.
I never got the chance,
To tell you I loved you,
Before my first breath,
You decided my fate.
I never got the chance,
To hear your voice,
To hold your hand,
To be held so tight.
You decided I didn’t get a chance,
To be your little girl,
To know I was loved,
Not by anyone but by you.
I never got a chance,
To introduce you,
To my friends,
Or first boyfriend.
I never got the chance,
To hug you.
When did you decide?
You did not want your baby.
I never got the chance,
To run to you when I was scared,
Wipe away my tears,
Calming me down.
I never got the chance,
To even say goodbye,
In my life you never gave me a chance,
To decide my own fate.
I never got the chance,
You walked away,
Right out of my life,
No second glances.
I never got a chance.
To ask you to stay,
To tell you we will be fine,
You have me and I have you.
If I got the chance,
Would I actually want you to stay?
How would it change my life?
No more what ifs.
If I got the chance,
I would tell you everything you missed,
From my first word,
To my graduation day.
If I got the chance,
I would have asked you to leave,
I was better off without you,
I never needed you.
He was never in my life and I use to be sad and upset for me. Now I feel bad for him because me and my two brothers were raised by a single parent, with the help of my grandparents and we turned out pretty good.
