To the co-worker that called me fat,

It's interesting how things play out. I was the one person that tried to show you kindness when it was the absolute last instinct of mine. What I really wanted to do was to ask you to leave me alone and let me do my homework in peace. But I didn't. Instead, I listened to every word you said and tried to search deep down for the best advice I could offer — no matter what ridiculous things you said or asked. I didn't let my attitude get the best of me. While practically everyone else ignored and avoided you, I tried to be that voice of encouragement — no matter how busy I was. I blew off every smart comment of yours, until one day I finally had to walk away.

One day that I'm sure you too remember well, when I was minding my own business like I always do, you were so gracious as to invite yourself to my table. You informed me of my weight gain and encouraged me to weigh myself. You went on to tell me that I was ruining my pretty face. And finally, you proceeded to ask me if I was, in fact, going to weigh myself when I got home.

The average person would have punched you in the face or said some things that should not be said in a work uniform. But, I didn't.

When I told you I had to go and began walking away, you yelled, "Was it something I said?"

Yes, it very well was something you said.

First, weight is something I'm very aware of.

I don't know if you realize this, but if someone is "fat" by societal standards, they're pretty aware of that fact (duh). It doesn't do us a favor to give us a "friendly" reminder. So when you call me fat, it's not some huge revelation. I'm completely aware of what I look like — probably too aware. I have to face that same reflection every single day. I have to see that number on the scale that still, in my eyes, indicates my worth. I get a visual reminder of the time I've wasted and how far I still have left to go... with every slight view. I'm very aware; I hate it, and I am uncomfortable with your reminding of it.

Second, despite how you were raised, I believe that we naturally know how to treat and talk to people (some better than others).

Regardless, you used that justification as an apology. You told me, "It's just how I was raised." I'm sorry, but having parents that monitored your weight when you were young does not give you the freedom to go around and attack others. That should instead teach you to never inflict societal expectations on others, especially knowing that you have undergone the same pressure yourself.

Third, my weight does not ruin my "pretty" face.

I could be 500 pounds and still have a pretty face by some's estimation. Now, would that fit everyone's proposed mold of what I'm supposed to look like? No, of course not! But neither extreme defines me, and that's the beauty in it. I will never meet each and every individual's expectation of what I should be.

And that's not just in appearance, but really in any and every aspect. I will fall short in more areas than I can count, and that's completely OK. It's both crazy and amazing to consider, but physical appearance is the very least of my purpose. Beauty fades! It's fleeting. My true beauty does not come from my appearance, and I know that deep down (even though some days I need the reminder). And that is the very reason why I could take in your harsh words and walk away. I can come into agreement with the enemy's lie (that my outward appearance does in fact define me) or I can come into agreement with my God-given worth and truth — one that does not have to do with what I do, what I look like, etc., but everything to do with my Savior and what He's already done. Nothing and no one can take that away from me, not even the harshest of judgments. So, my prayer is that you some day you will come to know that because it's incredibly empowering and life-changing.

Fourth, thank you. Thank you for reminding me where my identity radiates from. Thank you for pointing me to Christ to remind myself of my immeasurable worth, despite what I look like, even in the harshest of words.

Sincerely,

A woman of (God-given) worth

Now, a couple disclaimers for my readers:

1. I am not insisting that we should ignore the issue of weight completely. Though, I am completely for self-love (in Christ) at any size, I am completely pro-health. I'm not encouraging obesity by any means, but I am in fact addressing the harsh reality that body image attacks do affect others, sometimes in the worst of ways. They will make their mark, but my prayer is that everyone reading this will be so grounded in the love and security of Christ that they'll be that much less damaging.

2. This is not an article written to get attention, sympathy, etc. It's just something dear to my heart that I believe should be addressed.

I know that it is difficult in a world that dictates who we should be in every area (including body image), but my hope is that we'll be a people that are good stewards of the bodies we were given, and at the same time are truly rooted in Christ, so that we'll know how to take harsh criticisms (because they will come). It's a hard journey — I absolutely know it is — but it's so worth it.

Dream League 2013 vs Dream League 2014 — happier, healthier, and much more rooted in Christ, and last but not least, a complete work in progress.