Growing up I tried my best not to care what people thought of me, whether it had to do with what I was wearing or what I was doing. Most of the time I succeeded and just went on my way.
When I came to college I was immediately thrown into a class which soon embarked on a trip to Paris. Timid and shy, I made friends with the other 11 choir freshmen and did what I could to get through the class and on our way to choir camp. While at choir camp I made friends with a few of the upperclassmen and eventually felt that I belonged there, though I didn’t talk with any of them that much.
As that first semester of my college career went on I looked up to all of the other choir members, but eventually it all turned to jealousy. They all seemed to know what they were doing with their lives and they were successful. They all were beautiful and handsome and I looked like a lumpy sack of potatoes.
At the very beginning of January that school year I realized I hated myself. I slumped into a depression and it was hard for me to get out of bed most mornings, though I tried my best. This jealousy that caused me to hate myself was eating away at me and I wasn’t sure what to do.
By the end of the year I was looking up a bit more and coming out of my depression. I was starting to realize that it truly did not matter what people think of me. To this day I’ve realized that it really does not matter what anyone thinks of me, but it’s still so hard to be myself when I know that any jerk somewhere could see a stupid picture of me and turn it into something that hurts.
Choir, you have all embraced me for who I am and have encouraged me to see the best in myself. I love each and every second spent with every single one of you; it’s the highlight of my day. You have all taught me that every single person is different and that there’s no reason to hide who we truly are.
Some of you can quote Spongebob like it’s nobody’s business. Some of you can rap “Guns and Ships” from Hamilton: An American Musical word for word by memory, which is really quite impressive since I don’t even know most of the words in that song. Some of you are extremely unapologetic about who you are and I love it. I love you. Each and every single one of you have touched my heart and made me love with each step I take.
Surely by some miracle I have come to see that I am perfect in my own unique way, just as each of you are. I have come to love myself over the past year and embrace all my awkward quirks and have fought long and hard for the titles of Salt Queen and Sassmaster. I’m doing my best at everything there is for me to do.
Everyone single one of you have taught me so much – yes, including you freshmen – and I cannot believe how far I have come in a seemingly short amount of time. Each one of you will come to embrace yourselves for who you are, no matter what struggles lie ahead. I believe in each one of you and do hope that you believe in me.
May the Lord Bless You and Keep You.
