"What is a broken heart?" Ah, I remember asking countless people this question through my years of growing up. Once I found out the true meaning of a broken heart, I no longer had to ask anyone anymore. Do you know why? Because you showed me. You showed me exactly what a broken heart is. And quite honestly, you did a damn good job of it.
I was so in love with the idea of you, that I was blind to see the truth. The truth is that you were slowly breaking my heart, before you did all at once. Yes, my heart still hurts and probably will for a while. But that's okay. I remember all of the laughs, memories, kisses and smiles we shared. Also, I distinctly remember you saying to me "I want us to go far." My heart fluttered the moment you said it. I got giddy with excitement. I believed you. I was wrong to do that. You obviously didn't mean it.
I wish I would've opened my eyes a little wider and got past the happiness of you. Maybe if I would've, you wouldn't of been able to break my heart like you did. Honestly, it was quite a blindside. I wasn't expecting it. Why so suddenly? Did I do something wrong? You caused me to start asking myself what I did wrong that caused you to break my heart. I have been asking myself over and over again what it was that I did. Or was it something else? Was something wrong with me? Was I not pretty enough? Was it only because I wouldn't sleep with you because I have values? Were you just using me? There was countless questions upon questions that flooded in my head.
I cried. I cried a lot. I still cry. My heart physically ached for an answer. I yearned for answers. I didn't care if they would hurt me even more. I just wanted to know.
Thank you, boy. Thank you for taking my heart, holding it tenderly, and then breaking it into pieces. It doesn't really make sense. None of it does. But at the end of the day, I'm thankful that it happened. I truly am. Life is going to hold many heartbreaks. I'm sure this is just the first of many that are to come. But you taught me how a real heartbreak feels. You showed me that if I am vulnerable, I am far more susceptible to having my heart broken.
Yes my heart is broken, it may be for a while. But you deserved to know all of this, whether you like to or not. It is the truth, and nothing but the truth. I wish you the best in life. Thank you for teaching me what heartbreak is and what it feels like. I'm thankful I don't have to ask anyone anymore. No wonder those I asked didn't have an answer. It's heartbreak. You can't put a definition on it.
Sincerely, My Broken Heart