Dear Bio Kid,
I see you.
You're the one with wonderful parents. You're the one who has a different "brother" and/or "sister" every few months, most of which look nothing like you do. You're the one who gets funny looks everywhere you go because there's always a trail of mismatched kids. You're the one whose parents are Foster Parents.
So that makes you... the biological kid.
I see you because I am one of you.
That's right. My parents were called to Foster Care when I was beginning high school. I resented their decision and I let it be known. I was a bratty 13-year-old. I didn't want strangers coming into my house, invading my space and stealing the attention of my parents. I didn't want people to think I was weird because I had 5 little sister's (and I did at one point, God's pretty funny). I was selfish. I begged my parents to stop the process.
Somewhere along the way, though, my selfishness vanished and my heart expanded. But trust me when I say, I didn't feel that way at first. And even with an expanded heart and mind, there were still some very hard days. I've felt how you've felt. I've seen what you've seen. I've hurt like you've hurt.
I see you because I was in your shoes.
I see you sharing.
Sharing your room. Sharing your toys. Sharing your snack. Sharing your school. Sharing your clothes because they have none. Sharing your mom and dad's attention, time and love. Sharing everything.
I see you alone.
Your parents are busy attending to the baby who's in need of their attention around the clock. Your parents are busy attending the ninth temper tantrum the 3-year-old has thrown today. Your parents are busy taking kids to various doctor appointments and therapies. They're busy. The kids in your home didn't come for a sleepover carrying a sleeping bag and toothbrush. They came for an unknown time, carrying a whole lot baggage. And not the kind of baggage that zips and rolls, either. There's not as much time for you anymore and I know it can be lonely and hard. But believe me, you're far from alone.
I see your hurt.
You might be wondering for the hundredth time why your parents would willingly take on these kids with so much baggage. I see you hurting because the hurt these foster kid's bear is unbelievable. I see your tears as you cry yourself to sleep at night wondering if it's really even worth it. I see how hard it is and I see how painful it can be. Just remember, it's worth it because you are changing lives.
I see your heart.
I see you love the kid everyone else has teased and beaten. I see you building them up and encouraging them. I see you listening to him reveal his dark past because he trusts you more than anyone else. Your heart is huge and it's not unnoticed.
I see you loving the broken.
The kids in your home have been through hell to get to you. Excuse my language, but there's no other way to describe the stories you have heard. Most have been sexual, mentally, physically and emotionally abused. Most of them shouldn't be alive. So they're obviously very broken. Which brings so many behaviors, emotions, and actions into your home. Behind closed doors, your family goes through a lot. The process of mending broken hearts and misunderstandings is long. The kids often very hard to love, they usually push any affection away. But I see you love them anyway, despite every reason you have not to.
I see your tears as they leave.
The worst part of being the biological kid is saying goodbye. It happens, even when you've filled God's ears with countless prayers. There is a season for everything and sometimes the season must come to an end. It's a feeling no one can understand unless they have too felt it. Your world is a blur. Your heart will be shattered. As you see a social services vehicle take away your sibling, your friend, your pal, your buddy, you'll wonder if you will ever see them again.
It can be a long, lonely and unknown road for a bio kid to walk. But amongst all the hard days, there's so much good. The smiles. The hugs. The breakthroughs. They come abundantly and they far outweigh everything else. But you already know this, or you will come to know it.
Let me encourage you for a moment more though...
The impact you are making is as great as that of your parents.
It IS worth it, even if it doesn't seem like it now.
The kids who enter and exit your home will never forget you.
Your parents DO care about you and that's why they are graciously exposing you to the ugliness of the real world.
Someday you're going to leave home and you're going to thank your mom and dad for giving you the privilege of being the "bio kid."
And someday you too may be going to college for a career to make an impact in the foster care system, because the being the bio kid so wonderfully placed in your heart and soul.
A bio kid herself