Dear Daughter,

We have not met yet, and it will be a while till we do, but there are a few things I would like to tell you. I’ll start by telling you that you will never know a day without love; I will love you endlessly for the rest of your life. I will never let you know a life without care or appreciation. You will be my pride and joy. Please pay very close attention as you read the rest of this letter.

I want you to love yourself. There is a lot more to it than just saying it, you have to mean it. The first step is becoming comfortable with who you are, what you look like and the ideal woman you want to be someday. It is better to be admired for your mind than your body. Be honest and kind, but firm and assertive. Self-respect is one of the most important qualities a person can assume, do not take that lightly.

In case one day I forget what it feels like to be distraught and seventeen I want you to know that there will come a time where you feel yourself deteriorate into nothing and that is okay. You must go through struggle to find strength. I won’t let you go through it alone, I will be there if you need me, because the hours between 12AM and 6AM make you feel like you are either on top of the world or underneath it. Find a song that soothes your heart, and please don’t forget that you are human and it is okay to feel pain, it means you are alive. Just breathe, baby, just breathe.

Your mental health comes before school every single time. If it’s midnight and you are too sad to move, or you’re stressed out because of a biology exam, put the book down and go to sleep. One bad score will not diminish you in my eyes, it will not make me love you any less and it will not take away your chances of getting into medical school. Your health and happiness are more important than the letter at the top of a test. Please don’t forget that. If it’s 3AM and you find yourself in a state of complete despair, please don’t turn to alcohol to drown your demons, they can swim and they will. Climb into my bed and I will rub your back until they’ve fallen asleep. I refuse to be oblivious to your sufferings.

I hope by the time you read this letter rape culture has changed. I hope the claims that the clothes you wear determine if you were "asking for it" stop. I hope by now you will not be scared to walk alone at night, scared to wear whatever you want, or scared to say no. No is more beautiful than yes because no has the power to set you free. Don’t you dare let someone tell you your dreams are too far-fetched. You can do anything you set your mind to, I believe that and it’s about time you did too. Always remember quality over quantity, it applies to essentially every aspect of your life. I promise.

Everyone has a 3PM self and a 3AM self. You’ll find that each version is drastically different and you’ll often find yourself questioning how someone who looks like they carried the weight of the world on their shoulders could crumble so easily.

Don’t say your favorite color is blue to impress a boy, and do not be ashamed of loving sports or loving girls. One day you will meet a boy, or maybe a girl, who makes your heart flutter. You will feel butterflies inhabit your lungs and flowers sprout out of the darkest parts of your mind. The second your lips touch it will feel as though a fireworks show is going off at Disney World. Whatever you do, don’t allow them to become your moon because they will lighten your life in your darkest hours and then maybe one day they will leave you forever and you will soon know why they name tropical storms after people. You will want to die, and if I’ve learned anything, it’s that everything is temporary.

When you’re walking along the street and you see a homeless man with holes in his pant legs and a full beard covered in dirt, buy him a meal and ask him about his day. I promise you won’t regret it. He will tell you how he lost his job so his family left him. It’s been months since he’s seen his son and just as long since someone has offered him an ear to listen. He will talk about his perseverance to be a better man, a better father. Hearing his story will give you hope about humanity. When you finish eating, give him the rest of the money in your pocket.

Don’t be scared to fall in love. I know it’s terrifying, the idea of giving your heart to someone trusting them not to break it, but I want you to believe in love. I don’t mean you need to find it at sixteen. Find love in yourself or in a cereal box, find it on a ski trip in the Swiss Alps, find it in a person, find it in nature, find it in a season. I want you to believe in second loves, because they prove love exists even after you assured yourself it didn’t.

I want you to be okay with being alone. I want you to sit in silence and feel whole. I want you to know your worth does not depend on your relationship status, but one day, I want you to look across the table at breakfast at the love of your life and wonder how the world ever made sense before you met. Express how you feel and don’t hold back. Never be afraid to feel, I want you to feel everything.

When you feel your world slip away and you fall into darkness I will tell you that when I was 18 I searched for peace in ways that only stripped me of my happiness and made me sad. I ripped myself apart and found myself at rock bottom. Four years later, you were placed into my arms, and I saw beauty in it’s purest form. I knew that I needed to be better for myself, for you, and for your father. You saved me, let me help save you.

You may not always make the right choice and that is okay. You have to make mistakes to learn from them, you must fail in order to succeed. All I ask is that you have morals, know right from wrong. If you ever feel like sipping a bottle of whiskey to the point of no return, put it down, and come tell me. We will fill up the gas tank and just drive. I will show you the park where you made your first friend. I will show you the skyline at dawn and you will be mesmerized by it’s breathtaking beauty. I will show you that the sun rises each morning and that you can rise, too. You are special, sweetheart, my god, you are so special.

I want you to know that no matter what I will always love you. Even after all those “I hate yous” and door slams and even all the “you’re ruining my life” moments, I will love you unconditionally. You’ll grow up to be thick-headed like me and stubborn like your father but you will grow up to be your own person and it will be a pleasure watching you grow. If you fall, I will be there waiting to catch you with nothing but love in my eyes.

Laugh a lot, love unconditionally. Be honest. Discover your favorite book and get lost in the authors words. Have a favorite dessert, a favorite holiday, a favorite season, a favorite smell. Find yourself a happy place. Be the kind of woman you would want your son to marry. If you never listen to a thing I say please just remember this letter. I love you, princess.

All my love,