Dear Younger Me,
"Your beauty should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight." 1 Peter 3:
You are super bubbly by nature, inquisitive, girly, and tomboy all rolled up into one. I'm sure right now you think that by your 20's you'll be married with children and living a dream life. I hope you aren't disappointed to find out that your life isn't going to look the way you imagine, but you're still going to be insanely happy.
I don't even know where to start. But I guess I will start by saying that you're going to love the person that you eventually become. So much. She's going to take a few wrong turns. She's going to struggle with finding out who she truly is. She's going to drive you absolutely insane sometimes. But please know that you are going to be so happy and so content with your life and the woman you become. I know right now people are trying to encourage you and give you all the advice that you don't want to listen to. But there will come a day when you truly wished that you soaked in and absorbed all of it, because it is all so true. You don't understand now how your life is someday going to change for the better.
First and foremost, please know that nothing will ever fill your heart up like God will. He is your only constant companion. You will gain and lose friends in this life. I know that you're going to want to blend in with the rest of the crowd, but let me tell you now, that is NOT your calling. You are going to try drinking, going out, partying, because it's what everyone else is doing. But here's a little secret for you: you were meant to break the mold. You are set apart. You are different, so so different. And at this age, you hate that about yourself and you will try all you can to conform. You will try to hide your sensitive heart from the world. But you will soon realize that your "different" if your beautiful. You need to understand that the things of this world will mean nothing to you in your adult years. Everything that means so much to you now will fade away. That guy that your mom won't let you go to the movies with, you'll forget his name. The friends you're hanging out with now, only a few of them will carry over into your adult life. It will only be God's love that cannot be stolen from you, and that will follow you through every stage of your life. Bad things, sad things, happy things, and hard things will come your way. But God will be the only constant in your life that never changes. You will mess up, but he will always be there to guide your steps. (SIDE NOTE: That doesn't make it okay to continue to mess up on purpose! Let the Holy Spirit guide you!)
You're going to meet a ton of guys in your future. Some of them will be sweet, but some of them will have the wrong intentions. Luckily, you have a good intuition and will roll your eyes at the heartthrobs that clearly are into that "one thing." You aren't going to fall for it. I know that most of your friends are into dating, but it's not going to be your favorite thing. You're going to be that girl that hates casual dating. (You're going to find that out when you go on your first date in a couple of years and it goes absolutely HORRIBLE.) I know that you often dream about your future husband. (Something tells me he will be dark-haired and handsome, and he will always make you laugh. But most importantly, he will be a leader.) I encourage you to wait on God. He is going to present to you the most amazing husband you could ever wish for someday. (Unfortunately, it won't be when you're 26, but keep hanging on.) You're going to go through this season where you feel like something is wrong with you. You're going to get super insecure and closed-off. You're going to start thinking that it will never happen for you. But then one day, you're going to find your identity in Christ and this new confidence will emerge. You will realize that He hears every prayer, and He loves you way too much to give you somebody far too early. The man you fall in love with needs to cherish you. You are a prize to be won. You are a daughter of a King, and any man that treats you like an option is not the one for you. The man of your dreams may still be working on himself, who knows. He needs to be spiritually ready to receive you, don't rush him! This is all a part of God's perfect plan for your life. You are going to need a man who's calling lines up with yours. That's worth waiting for.
Stop being so concerned with "growing up." You have the rest of your life to do that. I know that you think your parents are strict. You get frustrated about that right now, but you are going to be so thankful for that someday when you are looking back on your life. You are going to realize that every time they told you "no" or suggested that something "wasn't a good idea," it was not because they were mean or "uncool." It was because they love you so much and you are priceless to them. They want you to grow up to be a person of character. And you will, because you have a childlike heart. I am very excited to tell you that you will carry your childlike heart into your adult years, and that is something that is going to make you stand out from the crowd. Don't ever lose it.
You are going to think your teenage years are hard, but just wait until your 20's. You're going to get sick and tired of people asking you life questions. "Do you have a boyfriend yet?" "When are you ever going to get married?" It will discourage you. You already know you're two steps behind. You have always been a girl with a plan, you like to be on a routine and for you to not be able to control this aspect of your life will drive you crazy. But listen up, girl. You tell those people that you are trusting God with your life direction. Because His love for you is so much greater than all these things that you cannot understand just yet. Don't let disappointment break you. Jesus is your shelter. I know sometimes it feels like the storm is trying to suck you up, but take heart...He calms the waves and wind. Blow everyone's mind by showing them that even at a young age, you have morals and standards for yourself and REFUSE to settle! There is no timeline in life that will ever be better than waiting on God. God doesn't put restrictions on us, so stop putting restrictions on yourself. You have great plans, but His are greater.
He has so many amazing things in store for you. Big things. Little things. Amazing things. Things like bearing witness to miracles in your family. Creating true friendships. Understanding His word deeper. Gaining an interest in discipleship and ministry. Following the prompting of His Spirit. So, hang in there, girl. Take some leaps of faith and love fiercely. Be kind to others always, and be that girl who always includes.
Do not compare your precious journey to anyone else's because your journey is so uniquely you- Just as God intended for it to be! He has already prepared the way!
Love,
Future You
