Dear Student Loan Debt,
We have been together now for a few years, and you are a really, really bad boyfriend. I never see you, but you always call and beg me for money. GET A JOB. You also promise me a bright future. "Don't leave me, we can do this when you're older..." I keep falling for your traps. I'm paying hundreds of dollars per class to listen to math that I don't care about, I'm paying way too much for way too little food with my meal plan, and I'm paying way too much to live on campus where NOTHING WORKS. Yet, still, you whisper into my ear that my education will all be worth it, and you hold me captive with your sexy, muscular arms. It's a relationship I wanted to avoid, but I know that I had to date you.
I have some complaints about our relationship, however, and I really want you to listen to me.
I cannot tell you enough how much I hate our communication. Like a tiger, you wait in the shadows and stalk me, waiting for your chance to strike. A junior in college now, I know that I have a little over a year until you pounce. Instead of attacking me, why can't we just talk things out like a normal couple? You're so immature. I'm going to be out of the "college bubble" soon and in the real world, and you said that you will be with me, but I need some time.
I know that I will be very fortunate to have you by my side as I look for jobs. Not only will I probably be without a job straight out of college, but I will have your moral support when you whisper in my ear, "I know things are tough, but I'm going to take all of your money."
Distance is needed in a relationship, and you just are not giving me that distance. That worries me. I know that I will want to sleep alone in my cardboard box some nights, and with you cuddling me, there just won't be that much room. When I huddle under my magazine and newspaper blankets in the future, I won't need your body next to me to stay warm.
Another thing is that I am only 20 years old. I'm not ready to settle down with some guy that I barely know. You say that you're going to be with me for YEARS? Damn, you're clingy. I don't want to plan a future with you if you're going to drag me down until I'm in my fifties. I don't understand where you think that's fair.
I mentioned something to you about seeing other people, and you got really angry with me, yet you are a hypocrite. I have talked to other people, some of them my friends. They say that you're hooking up with them, too! Boys, girls, most of my campus has said that you're seeing them. If you want to see other people, I understand, but don't you lie to me about it. We have a lot of problems to fix, and you'd better start putting in more effort into this relationship.
XOXO,
One of the many
