To my curves in all the wrong places,
I didn't have the normal diagnosis process. Most people find out they have scoliosis when they go through the screening test for it during gym class in elementary school. For me, it happened when I was 6 months old and my mom was at the doctors office for her check-up. Her doctor was holding me when he noticed that my spine was not right. He told my mom to take me to an orthopedist to be checked out further and so my parents did just that. When they took me to the orthopedist, they were told that I had Idiopathic Infantile Scoliosis. Which is a fancy way of saying I was a baby with a curved spine and there was no explanation behind it.
The first set of x-rays that I underwent showed that I had a 76-degree curve. I was put in a brace for the next two years. At the age of 2 and 1/2, I went for more x-rays and they showed that my curve had increased and was now at a life threatening 106 degrees. My spine was so curved and deformed that if I didn't have surgery soon, my curve would have continued to progress. It would have crushed my lungs in my sleep and I would not have made it to my third birthday.
On March 11, 1998, I had my first surgery. I had two titanium rods embedded into my back to correct the curve. Every six months, until I stopped growing, I needed another surgery to have the rods adjusted as a grew.
My childhood was so different from anyone else I knew. While my friends were doing softball, gymnastics and cheerleading, I was wearing a brace. I was in tears everyday from everyone staring at me and telling me I looked like a turtle and from having to miss weeks of school at a time to have surgery and go through physical therapy. Although I did dance as a kid, I wasn't able to do half of the things the other girls could do. It took me a while to learn to ignore the stares and the name calling, but eventually I just brushed it off. As for the not being able to do things that other people can, it took me even longer and every now and then it will still get to me, but I am learning to accept it and think of all the wonderful things that I have because of my scoliosis.
Scoliosis gave me the opportunity to meet so many amazing people. The surgeon who saved my life, the nurses who still inspire me to this day to keep my head up and reminded me to keep breathing through the pain, the physical therapists who helped me through recovery and the people I met in various support groups that shared their stories with me and allowed me to share mine and understanding what I was going through.
Most of all, if it was not for my scoliosis, I would not have the wonderful relationship that I have with my parents. My mom was by my side every step of the way. Some days she would literally have to drag me out of bed, I might have had a few choice words to say about it, but I thank God that she did it because if it wasn't for her I would not be as motivated as I am. My dad, on the other hand, sat there with me crying over the pain and rubbed my back until it felt better, and then he would do as my mom did and dragged me out of bed even if it took him bribing me with breakfast. Scoliosis might have made my life more difficult, but it allowed me to have the most amazing relationship with my parents.
Despite all of that, I would not change having scoliosis for anything. Yes, I dream about what it would be like to not have a spine that was shaped like a question mark, to not be in agonizing pain every time it rains and to be able to bend and touch my toes, but if I had any of that, my life wouldn't be my life and I would not be as strong of a person as I am now.
So thank you to the "S" in my back for quite literally shaping me into the person I am today.
Love, the girl who learned to embrace her curves.
