Dear Old Self,
I know things are tough, I know they do not always go your way, and I know at times you feel like you are not going to make it. Maybe you just got dumped by the guy you thought you loved. The guy you told everyone you were going to marry. Or maybe your best friend showed you they really weren’t your friend. When everyone else left, so did they. Maybe rumors have been going around school about you. Everyone is coming up to you asking you if it’s true, and no matter how many times you deny them, everyone still believes the rumor. You feel like you are drowning. Like you are trying to break free, but no matter what you do you can’t escape. You wonder if it’ll ever go away. You start to think that if you just died tonight all the pain would go away and you wouldn’t have to feel your heart break anymore.
But I am here to tell you it gets better. The rumors will go away. Soon enough the school will be talking about someone else. Yes, people will still bring up the rumors later on down the road, but it won’t hurt so much anymore. Whatever it was, most people will realize was a lie. Just give them time to realize this (some people are slower than others). That boy you thought you loved, he doesn’t matter. You will soon realize how toxic he was and that is was never actually love. You were young and crazy about a boy who didn’t even know what he wanted. But be patient. They right guy will come when he comes, and if you try to force it, it won’t be true love. The friends you lost won’t matter either. It’s OK to have people come and go from your life. Some people aren’t meant to stay the whole time. Life is a long and bumpy road, not everyone can hold on tight enough. The ones that leave weren’t meant to stay, they weren’t meant to be a part of your happy ending, and they were only a piece of the puzzle that helps you get there.
You will meet that one person who will have your back through everything. The one person who is supposed to see your happy ending. You may find this person in a guy, but you may also find it in a friend. No matter where you find it, be kind with them. Be patient. Be careful. Be gentle. Be forgiving. But never forget who you are and what you want. Hold on tight to this person. These kinds of people only come once in a blue moon. They are rare and they will change your life (for the better). That’s why you want to treat them so well, because they will treat you just the same. And if you are lucky you may find multiple friends like this. But please don’t let boys come between you and your friends. In the end, if it doesn’t work out with the boy, you will need your friends. They will let you cry as much as you want. They will know you are depressed, but they will still invite you to go out and they won’t expect anything from you. They won’t expect you to pretend to be happy. They won’t expect you to forget your struggles. They won’t expect you to move on. But they will love you unconditionally. They will lend you a shoulder to cry on, or a back to lean on. They will be your anchor.
Also, make sure you tell your family you love them. Your family is also a big factor in your life. No matter how much you fight, or how often you see them, they will always defend you and make sure you are ok. They will make sure you have money for food or gas or any essential needs when you are struggling to get by. They will be the ones there for you when you get into a fight with your friends. They will be the ones to get after you when they know you can do better, but also support you when you fail. They are your biggest fans. So never forget to tell them how important they are to you.
Sometimes you may be on your own, fighting your own battles. Crying yourself to sleep. Cheering for yourself when you accomplish something. But this will just make you stronger and more independent. You can do life on your own. It will be scary and at times you will need to call your mom and cry or hug your dad, but it’s not the end of the world. You were meant to take care of yourself and be independent. In the end, you will feel more freedom and gratitude from your achievements. And even though there are a lot of hard times, there will be good times, even great times. There will be times you feel like you are on top of the world.
Now I’m here to tell you to be bold. Try out for that sport you always wanted to play, or that club you wanted to join. Ask the guy you like out, you don’t have to wait around for him. It’s the 21st century, girls are allowed to make the first move. Sing and dance like no one is watching. You are your own person and that’s what is so special. Have fun, but be smart. Yes, the parties and boys are fun, but sometimes it’s smarter to stay in and study for that big exam coming up. You will have plenty of time to drink in the future (legally too). I’m not saying to never party because you are a teenager and you are allowed to have fun. Just make sure you make the right decisions. Don’t let anyone take advantage of you. And if this does happen to you, I know you will make it. It will stay with you forever. You will cry about it, and you will be scared to go out or do to things again. But you have to be brave. It won’t always be like that. He was just a pig anyways. Not all guys are like that. You are a strong and beautiful woman, and I wish you could see that. But one day you will. You may still have insecurities, but who doesn’t?
Let me just reiterate some things. You will be OK. Things will get better. You don’t need the boys or friends who walk out on you. You will find true friendships and the right guy. Your family will always be there for you. Be bold, be brave, be smart, but have fun.
Sincerely, your future self
