To my new relationship,
I love that new relationship feeling. It’s like you always want to talk to them and be with them and everything that they do is cute to you. That is what I’m feeling right now. The scariest part, however, of starting a new relationship, is realizing that there is a 50/50 shot that it will either last forever or end at some point in time.
Now, I haven’t been in a relationship in years, so there are quite a few things I’d like to warn you about before you get yourself into something potentially messy.
To start off, I’m still having trouble believing that someone actually wants me and cares about me. This will take some getting used to. I don’t know how I did it, but I finally gained the courage to be in another relationship. And I hope my ex isn’t flattered by the fact that I couldn’t move on after him. It’s not because he was “irreplaceable” or anything like that, but it’s because he took away all of my confidence. But thank you for giving it back to me.
Also, thank you for reminding me what butterflies feel like. Thank you for making me smile without trying. Thank you for reminding me that not all relationships are unhealthy. Thank you for reminding me how intense a new relationship may be, in a good way.
I need to be honest though, I am so scared of getting my heart shattered again. I have my guard up this time. But I know you, and I know your heart. I know that you wouldn’t hurt me, no matter how difficult I am to deal with. You take my mind off the past and make me focus on you. I’m not perfect. Neither of us are, and we never will be. But I am trusting you, and giving you a part of me that I know you could break so easily.
I don’t remember how to have a boyfriend. I don’t remember how to be a girlfriend. I don’t remember what to worry about or what to be calm about. I don’t remember when to be funny or when to be serious. I don’t remember how to be loving enough without seeming clingy. I don’t remember what it feels like to be happy. But you’re making me remember. Slowly, but surely, you’re bringing me back to life.
I know the beginning of this fairytale may start off a bit rocky, but just like you said to me, “We’ll get through it. We’ll be okay. I promise, we’ll turn out okay.” I’m giving you my heart, and I’m trusting you on that. And I don’t trust people easily, so you must be something really special.
Please, God, just don’t let me screw this up. That’s all I’m asking.
Sincerely,
The new girlfriend
P.S. It is actually true—the best things happen unexpectedly.
