As each year passes, I find time with my parents becoming less and less frequent. At first it was because I was attending college eight hours from home, but now I can’t seem to find the time between work and trying to be independent. Although I don’t mean to, I find myself taking for granted the two people that helped me get to where I am today. Specifically the one that’s been there for me since (before) day one. Mom, this one’s for you.

Dear Mom,

Let me start by saying that I’m sorry. I’m sorry for all of the times that I fought with you, for the times I went behind your back and lied, for all of the times I’ve let you down. I’m sorry for the times when I chose my friends or other things over you. I never meant to make you feel like I was embarrassed or ashamed to have you in my life. Sometimes I forget what’s important. You mean so much to me and I know I don’t show it enough. I’m sorry that I don’t come around often and I’m sorry I haven’t found the time to call as much. I’m sorry for not being able to guarantee that I’ll be home for the holidays or I’ll be able to get back to you immediately. I’m sorry for growing up too fast and not spending enough time at home when I could. I hope that you can forgive me for the mistakes that I’ve made and the mistakes I will make and continue to love me, as you have, through it all.

Second, I want to say thank you. Thank you for being patient and always wanting what’s best for me. Thank you for telling me what I need to hear rather than what I want to hear. Thank you for making my doctor appointments and keeping my head on straight when I think I’m falling apart. Thank you for letting me eat the last piece of cake and then listening when I complain about my weight. Thank you for all of the nights you held me when I cried over boys and for the days you told me I deserved nothing less than the world. Thank you for spending too many hours with me on my school projects, only for me to throw a fit and want to redo it. Thank you for being understanding when I needed space and being welcoming when I didn’t. Thank you for showing me that it’s okay to make mistakes and not be perfect. Thank you for knowing what was best for me when I didn’t know what was best for myself. Thank you for holding my hand and being the best mother a girl could ask for. Thank you for being my best friend.

Lastly, I want to tell you that I love you. I know that I may not always show it, but I do. You’re the most important woman in my life and I wouldn’t be who I am today if it wasn’t for you. You’ve always been someone that I’ve looked up to and I couldn’t have picked a better role model. I know that I don’t always make things easy for you, but in these 22 years, you’ve done more for me than I can thank you for regardless of how difficult I’ve been. If it wasn’t for your guidance and your unconditional love and support, I wouldn’t be as independent or as compassionate, I wouldn’t have a strong head on my shoulders or know what I deserve. I love you for the sacrifices that you’ve made to make me happy, for the countless times you’ve picked me up when I fell, and for the never-ending hugs and kisses. I’m so lucky to have had the opportunity to have all of these things. I love you more than you know and I will for as long as I’m alive.

It’s not that I don’t miss home or I don’t want to come visit, it’s that you’ve raised me to be an independent, hard worker and I just want to make you proud – even if it’s from more than 500 miles away. I’ll do my best to call more, to make the time, and to try and come home more often. I’ll do my best to be more available and reach out, schedule a FaceTime lunch or call after I get home from work. But whether you know it or not, you mean more to me than I could ever explain. So, I love you and thank you for being everything to me, always.