Dear little sis,
You're about to start college this year - congrats! I couldn't be more proud. My high school years feel so far away (even though it's only been a year and a half), but I still remember being a senior year during the final few months and all the stress and craziness and excitement that came with it.
I know I haven't been too involved with helping you out with the whole process (mostly because you came to me at the wrong time — like seriously, never bother a college student during finals week, that's your first piece of advice), but I'm hoping I can give you all the info you need in this not so little letter.
First off, I know you've already selected which colleges you want to go to and are now waiting for a response back from them. I'm sure whichever schools you picked, they're great schools, I trust your judgement, but I don't trust theirs entirely, as in if you don't get picked know that it's not your fault. Rejection is not an easy thing and especially if it comes from a school you really wanted to go to. Sometimes it's not just about getting good grades, it's about extracurricular activities and sports and a crazy amount of community service hours and you know, you can't do it all. So, don't blame yourself if you don't get picked by one or some of them. You're a great student, I know how hardworking you are with the extra hours of tutoring and all the research projects and papers I've helped edit over for you.
Second off, when you've gotten selected and you've made your final decision, here are some things to know about the few days before. Go. To. Orientation. Seriously, it will help so much, especially if there are a lot of fun events going on. I had to stay overnight for my orientation and at first I was kind of hesitant, but that late night cruise around the whole city where I danced all night, ate a ton of ice-cream, made a bunch of friends and got to experience dorming for a night was just too awesome.
If you pick a university in the city, which I know you have, you will get invited to a lot of first week parties and I'm not advising you to avoid them, but to take caution. I know you've watched movies and tv shows where you've seen a little freshman go to a college party, hang out with some older juniors and seniors, drink a little too much and end up getting hurt in some way or another. That is not how I want you to start off your first year. Now look, I wanted to go to all these raving parties myself, but I held back, because I didn't know any of the people there, I didn't know the area where it was being held too well, and I seriously don't trust those 'girls get in or drink free' type of places and you shouldn't either.
When you've made a group of friends who know what they're doing and are able to take care of themselves and each other, then yeah go ahead, hit the city up, paint the town red. But, until you know the scene and can handle it like a queen, stay away from such things or I will kill you.
I know you're working hard to prepare yourself for the crazy world of college, but I just wanna let you know that it's really not that crazy, at least not in your freshman year. Midterms and finals week will be a real rollercoaster, but I don't want you to be so used to studying 15 hours a day just to find out that your professor doesn't even give you homework. Trust me, I've been through the same exact thing. Being a part of a lot of honor programs and AP classes, you get that same old lecture of college-isn't-going-to-be-this-easy and your-professors-aren't-going-to-give-you-any-head's-ups and there's only one thing I want to say about that - it's BS. High school teachers like to scare you with that tactic, and it works, because I thought the same until I met my freshman year professors who came in late, cursed up a storm, cracked jokes, let us turn in homework late, use laptops in class, bring cheat sheets for our exams, munch on snacks, and emailed us about any big news. But, do try to stay on top of your deadlines, because you might just get stuck with some crappy professors; luck can't always be on your side.
One important thing to remember is if you make an effort, your professor can become your friend. Same goes for your adviser. If you try your best and go to them with your problems, they will care enough to give you that extra help or second chance that you might need. They seriously want you to do well. Plus, making connections with your professors and the staff really does help in the long run. I remember my advisor telling me that the more a professor knows about you as a student, the more they'll have to say in your recommendation letter.
I'll be helping you but remember to set up your schedule in a way that gives you at least a one hour break. Trust me, it'll help. Try not to let the break be more than three or four hours, 'cause you'll get bored quick. Studying and napping are two good ways to pass the time, but I think the best is to go to different events happening at school — especially the welcome week events where you can meet other students going through some of the same things as you. Even if you're alone, just go. Socialize, try to make some new friends, and if you can't, at least go for the free food.
Actually, as you'll find out, making friends in college can pretty hard and especially if you're a commuter. So, if you don't make an insta-BFF with the first person who says 'hi' to you, don't stress it. The best friendships take time to start, but can last for a whole lifetime if given the chance. I honestly thought I'd never have friends, but a month later, I was having lunch with a bunch of my classmates in the courtyard and having a ton of fun. And don't worry so much about your old friends. Staying in touch with your high school friends is something everyone wants to do, but you'll find out that it's really hard, so don't feel bad if you yourself or some of your old high school friends aren't talking to each other too much or have stopped talking completely. It happens; it's a part of life. They'll move on and so will you. And the ones that do stick around will be the lucky ones.
Another important thing to know — and I seriously can't stress this enough — do whatever you can to get some leadership opportunities as soon as possible. They will seriously help so much with your social skills, with finding internships and jobs, and really help you to get to know the school and the people.
Try to get out of your comfort zone. I know that's the kind of sappy things people try to tell you in the beginning, but it really is necessary. College is a world full of opportunities and new chances. Take the time to enjoy and do great things, while you still have the chance and the time and the energy to do so. Trust me when I say that these next four years of your life will go by with a snap.
One more important thing: don't be afraid to ask for help, just because you're an "adult" now, doesn't mean you can't run into a little trouble you're so unprepared for. I might've been there for you in high school, but chances are you'll be going somewhere else from now, so I won't always be there for help. Ask other students, ask the staff, just don't let yourself wander around for hours because you feel like you're bothering them; please, even upperclassmen can get lost sometimes and especially if you have a huge campus.
So, let's do a quick review: Don't worry so much about rejection — they'll be sorry one day, you'll see; go to orientation and have fun there, don't mope, don't reminiscence over your high school buddies, enjoy yourself; no parties until you have the details on them and I confirm that they are safe; don't overwork or stress yourself out in your first year; do something to make yourself stand out and be known by your professors and your peers; give yourself a break once in a while; don't chase after people, the right friends will come up to you instead; take charge and do something new once in a while; explore the new city that will become your second home from now on; don't take on more than you can handle and learn to appreciate the same things.
If you can remember all that, then I'm sure you can have a great first year.
Well, that's all for now. Good luck, do well, and most of all, have fun.
Sincerely,
Your older (and much wiser) sis.