To my lovely Instagram followers,
You've been following my account for quite a while now. You see my day-to-day adventures and receive the occasional funny photo with a clever caption. I try to maintain my social media accounts so they are somewhat professional in manner or I like to "keep it clean" because, as my parents always told me, "Don't post something you don't want me to see."
With that, I usually post pictures of my cat or dog, family, the occasional selfies, inspirational quotes, and the typical "OMG I miss you" post. You see them at least once a day (sorry if it's any more than once!), but if you go through my accounts, specifically my Instagram, you'll notice something. Something that you may not have ever picked up on. To you, these posts seem like a stereotypical girl's Instagram posts. To me it covers something that I couldn't let anyone see. They hide my struggle, which started about six months ago.
Last semester I struggled. And by struggled, I mean I was at the lowest point in my entire life. Unless you were one of my close friends who lived with me at my college, you probably would not have known this. My depression worsened worse than ever, and I lost sight of the future, which scared me more than anything. However, I tried to convey my emotions appropriately through the use of quotes and #tbt posts. I've never been someone to outright say what's wrong, for fear of people viewing me as if I craved the sympathy. I try to keep my posts with an appropriate level of privacy -- still posting the image/quote, but keeping the "caption" not too personal. But as I am still working to fully recover, I feel that it is time I grow outwardly as a person as well.
I used to be ashamed of how badly I was doing mentally, physically, and emotionally, but I still needed help. I have always felt asking for help was a sign of weakness, leading me to hinting at what was wrong but never fully saying it. My posts hid this and helped me convey the need for help that I truly needed most. I was going through some of the toughest days of my life, all while being over 2,000 miles away from my parents. I had my close friends, but I still couldn't allow myself to ask for help.
I know I am not the only one to recently post about how my Instagram hides my true emotions and true struggles. Everyone has their own struggles, despite how "happy" and "amazing" their life seems through their social media accounts. Looks can be deceiving and you'll never know what someone is truly going through. Out of my 800-something followers, only a few of you knew how badly I was struggling. But honestly, that's more than enough. I don't want everyone to know my business or what's happening negatively in my personal life, but I will continue to share the positive aspects of it.
Sincerely,
basicweitgirl (a.k.a. Sydney)
