To one of my best friends,

Well, it’s that time of year again, the time when every store has daddy daughter pictures up, the tie section becomes raided, the grocery stores have blue cakes in stock, and Instagram and Facebook are overloaded with “Best Dad Ever” pictures. It’s when dads get showered in gifts, breakfast in bed, or are guaranteed a day to lay on the couch and watch golf-whatever makes them happy. It’s a day where no matter where you go you see fathers with their children everywhere: whether its at the mall, a sporting event, TV or even social media: you can’t escape it.

I can’t imagine what it’s like going through this day for you.

It’s bad enough you have to live every day as a reminder he isn’t there, but a day where everyone gets to celebrate someone that you no longer have — I really can’t imagine.

Being your best friend, I can see how much it hurts, and I hate more than anything to see you have to go through something like this. I also know how frustrated you get when you receive pity every year. I see how tired you are of hearing how everyone “can’t imagine what it must feel like,” or being told, “I’m so sorry for your loss”. I see how you are frustrated because no one really understands. No one had to go through your situation and no one had the relationship that you did with your dad. I see that you sometimes don’t want to talk about it, and you don’t want to be upset. I see that sometimes you want to ignore that he’s not there, and sometimes you just want to show me old pictures of you two together and tell me about how you used to go to every single Miami Heat game together.

I want you to know, sometimes I don’t know what to do on this day either.

I don’t know if you want me to come over and watch movies and not even talk about him, or if you want me to watch old videos with you. I don’t know if you want to say nothing on this day, or never stop talking. I really don’t. But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to be there for you.

I know sometimes I’m not good at words or feelings, and I don’t know what else to do besides tell you I’m always here for you and volunteer to get you ice cream when you need it. But please, please know I mean every bit of that sentence. I do truly want to be there for you and you should never be embarrassed to talk to me about anything- after all you are my best friend.

So here’s an apology: I’m sorry I don’t always know what to say and I’m sorry I don’t always know how to help, but please know that I’m trying-because when you hurt, I hurt. I wish I could’ve been there for you when this was all happening, but I’m so thankful you decided to confide in me and choose me as your best friend. Not everyone gets to hear the way you talk about him and miss him- and that’s something I think is so special about our friendship. I hear you talk about him and I can see in your eyes how much you loved him. Thanks for filling me in on your old family traditions, and what made him the best dad ever, I love hearing all about him.

I know I never knew him but I’m going to go out on a limb here and assume he’s a pretty good guy— I mean, he gave me my best friend so he obviously did at least one thing right. You are so beautiful and so smart. You are ambitious and bright, you are such a leader and such an amazing partner in crime that I know without a doubt he is looking down on you every day with a huge grin on his face. I think he would be proud of you, not only for your accomplishments, but also for picking such a great best friend (aka me) to take on life with. I know that your family already welcomes me in with such open arms and he would do the same. I know your mom and sister already consider me family, and I would consider him another dad. I hope that one day I get to meet him and I can tell him myself everything I’ve gotten to see you do and get to brag about you in every way possible.

I know you’re tired of hearing all the basic things, but I really am sorry you had to go through the loss that you did, and I’m sorry this day rolls every year as a reminder of all that you lost. I know it’s not fair-believe me I get that. I know it’s not fair that some people get left on this earth with an abusive dad and have no relationship with them at all- yet you got the perfect dad and he’s gone now. I don’t know why that happens, and I know it isn’t fair but God doesn’t just do anything for fun- that I know for sure.

He has such a big plan for you and your life and I can’t wait to be apart of that journey. So not only is this one for my best friend, but this is also for your best friend in Heaven. I wish I could celebrate this day with both of you and I’m sorry that I can’t. If I could do anything in the world for you, please know I would give you one more day, or one more hour, one more phone call or one more hug. You mean the world to me, and I know he misses you every day-just as you miss him.

I’m so proud of you for being so strong.

I’m so proud of you for pushing through the hardest days of the years and celebrating the time you had rather than milking the hard times you had away. I know you persevere and push so hard to be successful because of him. You are driven and consistent and want to make him proud and no doubt you are. So even though you already know how sorry I am for your loss- know that it goes beyond just those words and I mean so much more. I love you best friend. And happy father’s day to my other dad, wish we could both celebrate you.

Love,

Your best friend