To My Former Colleagues

If it appeases the court, please allow me to offer my apology to those who may or may not have been but perhaps will be affected by my statements.

Recently, I found myself in a firestorm of controversy for a post that I published on my blog last week. Since that time, I’m sure there have been meetings, private conversations and rumors on what measures should or will be taken to prevent anyone else from voicing their opinions in company matters. This whole exaggerated and exasperating ordeal has gotten me to ponder what the hype is really about. Defamation. Slander. Libel. Second Amendment. Rights. Social Net Speech. I could go on. And in the course of this matter, I’ve heard rumors about myself that could also be perceived as slanderous by certain individuals within my former company, but I digress.

My hope was that it would garner the attention of someone, whether it was management or regular employees, like me, in an effort to ignite a change. Yes, I wanted not only my frustrations to be known, but moreover my desire for improvement with the company and my division specifically. And therefore, the facts were presented within my blog post. The fact that I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder at the age of 30 and had to go on anti-depressants. The fact that I’ve only received a total raise of just over $3 in my 10 years of service. And the fact that I am still financially dependent on my parents, although I work full time, have no children and live well within my means. These are all facts. The idea and/or perception to me is that the mission statement of the company seems to apply to everyone with the exception of the employees carrying out this mission on a daily basis, and if that statement, idea and/or perception of mine offends or suggests defamation to anyone in particular, then please also allow me to offer an especial apology to you.

My deepest apologies are to my friends and family who are left behind to take on the ramifications of the actions that I took. To those of who commented and agreed, I thank you for your support, although I have since removed your comments from my website. It’s funny that you are allowed to agree with me, but only in the silence of your mind. However, I understand and the last thing that I would want for any of you is to lose your primary source of income over a natural born birthright like freedom of speech. Nor do I wish that any tension should arise between you and your employer for an association with me. I truly hope that it will not escalate beyond the point that it already has because that could be perceived as an invasion of privacy, harassment and/or retaliation, and nobody wants that.

I would never bash my company. And that was never my intent. Even with my salary, stress from my caseload and overall anxiety that I experienced, the company was good to me in the fact that it employed me for several years and provided an honest means to cover some, although not all, of my necessary expenses.

It’s notable to mention at this point that when I reference my “company,” I am not personally referring to a nameless, faceless entity in whole. Companies are made up of people after all, and therefore my experiences were the result of specific individuals within my “company.” I could have written a post specifically name dropping, however, that would have been undoubtedly defamatory, egregious, and unethical. Since I did none of those, I can sleep peacefully knowing that I didn’t assassinate the character of any person nor the company for which was not named. I also find deep gratification in the responses that I have received from my fellow co-workers, past and present that have resonated with some of my viewpoints. I feel honored to be a voice for the mute in a concerted effort to ignite change.

Additionally, my message was to not to defame my company, but rather to convey the state of despair that I was in as an employee for that particular division. I stated in my blog that the reason I stayed in an unhappy situation for so long was because I felt like God had placed me there to fulfill a purpose. After several months of praying, fasting and soul-searching, I had the epiphany that God’s purpose for me was to glorify Him. In order to do that, I discovered that it consisted of a separation from that particular branch of service. I wanted to convey that like love, God does not delight in negativity, but rejoices in truth. My truth was that I was miserable. Once I realized that, it was up to me to make a change, and that’s exactly what I did. Having posed the question to others, I'm not sure what you will find your truth or course of action to be. For some, it may be to stay, to climb the corporate ladder in hopes of reaching a top management position, to become the very change for which I speak. For me, there was no other choice other than the one I chose, happiness over misery.


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