Here's how first loves work: Well, you'll break his heart and he'll break yours. But you won't forget each other, even if one day you walk past him and neither of you acknowledges it. That's the thing about first loves, you never forget them, they are the only person who gets your whole untouched heart. They get all the love you've saved up for this moment and they get to keep it forever. You may never speak again but you can guarantee that you can still picture his eyes looking into yours as he said those three words for the first time. However, you'll also remember the last time he said those three words and told you that he was going to come back for you, the way he made you believe that a happy ending did exist for both of you. Those memories will come back to you in waves, all the firsts and all the lasts, the good and the bad, but what's important is the fact that your first love is just that, the first but not the last.
The ex-girlfriend: Right now, she's just living her best life. She's focused on herself. She's falling in love with who she is. She's excited about where she's headed, and she's excited about what's next. She has so many goals, so many dreams, so much ambition, and she's constantly finding new passions. She's learning to be spontaneous. She's learning to take risks. And she's constantly stepping out of her comfort zone. You see – right now, she's just chasing the things that make her happy. She's chasing the things that feed her soul. And to be honest with you- she could care less about what anybody else is doing. She could care less about what anybody thinks. Because right now, her life is filled with so much peace. So much light. So much growth. So much faith. And so much hope. And right now, she's just living her best life- but then she thinks about him. She runs into him and she stops him, and they hang out. She puts her hopes up that they will get back together. She gets the nerve and asks him if they could try things again and he shoots her down. She is devastated, heartbroken.
The ex-boyfriend: He had begun to think a guy like him was never worth loving. And then, she came into his life. And she loved him. She loved all of him. To the core. All a bit too much. He finds every reason to want to push her away and away. But you know what special about that girl? She doesn't. Instead of taking one step back, she takes 100 more towards him. Especially when he doesn't deserve it. The world looks at him like he's human, but she looks at him like he's magic. She hides him in her poetry, as if he is some type of poem; he thinks he is just a guy. Why can't she see that? It bugs the crap out of him; why can't she just stop? But then, why can't he see that perhaps he's worth more than he had ever thought? And it is all due to her. It is like God sent him her soul so God himself could prove him wrong. And he does, through her, every single time. Perhaps he's trying to fulfill his prayers and accept his repentance. He is so lucky God has heard him. But all he does is push her away.
The kind of love: It wasn't the kind of love that made you smile, but the kind that made you tingle. It was the kind of love where you could talk about that person for hours even if no one was listening. The one that could make you think about them for hours just because of the way they looked at you. The one you wanted to do all the clichés with. It was the kind of love that made you wonder if anything else in your life would ever compare. It was that kind of love where you would be happy to wake up at 4am to watch sunrises with and sleep at 2am with their voice on your phone. You were just drunk on everything they were, everything they did, or said- it made you fall in love, be in love, more and more- with everything around you, with yourself...and with them. Everything about them feels perfectly right, perfectly fragile, everything about them was yours.
To his next girlfriend: He is amazing, like- really, truly amazing. Do me a favor? Don't ever let him forget that. Compliment him days on end (he'll tell you to stop) but don't. He won't fully accept them; but as he forms the words to tell you to stop, you'll find his lips curve into this small smile. It's very small but oh man it is beautiful. This smile is a specific one- (make sure you cherish it). ask him how he is daily. Daily. Seriously daily. There could be a storm inside of him and he may not tell you and that's okay. But ask him. Once, twice, a dozen times. As many times as needed until you feel satisfied that he is okay. Compare his eyes to gemstones or things you saw throughout your day. Above all else, love him. Uncontrollably. Unquestionably. Don't let him push you away, like I did. Instead walk into his arms and hold him as tightly as you can. Pull him into your lap and play with his hair until the tension drains out of him. Remind him softly, your voice in his ear, that you aren't going anywhere. If he thinks you're worth it, he didn't think so for me, then maybe you are. I hope you two are together to the end of your days. Make him laugh, will you? Trust me, it's going to wash away every sadness plastered inside of you, that laugh. It'll make you question it, it's a gift from God- (remember to pray for him). Always remember that. You're going to miss the sadness sometimes but just feel him close to you and trust me, you wouldn't want it any other way. One more thing. He deserves a love he doesn't have to question, that was the fault in ours. I'm glad he will have found that in you.
