“Maybe some people just aren't meant to be in our lives forever. Maybe some people are just passing through. It's like some people just come through our lives to bring us something: a gift, a blessing, a lesson we need to learn. And that's why they're here. You'll have that gift forever"—Danielle Steel

Dear Ex Best Friend,

First off I want to say, this isn't a letter bashing you. In fact it's the complete opposite. I know you know that I get inspiration from things that I've gone through and I always put it down on words. However, I won't be writing anything negative about you because I have nothing negative to say about you.

We had some amazing memories that I often think back upon. We would do everything together. And honestly we were the best friend pair that everyone was jealous of. We connected on a level no one could ever understand. You were the Cristina to my Meredith. Or in their terms, my person.

We defined the word close. We talked on the phone every single day. We texted, Snapchatted, and everything on Facebook that I shared, I'd always share to you. Every memory that came up on Facebook, you were always in it. Even though you moved away, we remained super close and you'd frequently come up to visit me. And anytime we went we'd always pretend to be a couple to keep weirdos away. Hell your family honestly thought we were gay for each other. Obviously we weren't but are you really best friends if your family doesn't question your sexuality?

As I think back on all the memories and the heartbreaks and the issues we've gone through, we never really got into any huge fights. Yeah we'd get into some arguments or disagreements over stupid stuff, but we'd always talk it out and we'd never stay mad at each other longer than maybe a few hours. We always came back to one another.

This time it was so different. It's been about three weeks since we talked, and I've accepted there is no going back to what we were due to what happened. I know in my heart that there is no talking this one out.

The adjusting is so hard. Not talking every single day, not seeing Facebook posts that you'd put up. It's a friendship break up, and that's worse than any relationship break up I could truly think of. You go through the 5 stages of grief:

Denial

Anger

Bargaining

Depression

Acceptance.

I've been between Depression and Acceptance. Leaning obviously more towards Acceptance, but the depression will creep up on me from time to time. Especially thinking back on the past 3 years of our friendship.

Accepting you won't be at my birthday this year, or go on vacation again. It's hard to think about. And while I have some amazing friends here in Richmond who've helped me through this, I won't lie I still miss you. It's like a void that hasn't been filled. I never ever saw this coming. I thought you'd always be apart of my life. And it sucks that you are no longer apart of it.

But that's just what life is about I guess. And though we are no longer friends, I want to thank you. Thank you for being my best friend for the past 3 years and dealing with everything that comes with that title. Thank you for the times you'd stay on the phone for 3 hours just talking about nothing. Thank you for the times I'd call you up pissed off about some guy and you'd just be there to listen and offer up advice. And thank you so much for the memories over the past 3 years.

Sometimes I'll see certain things or photos we've taken, and just laugh and remember the times behind that picture. The ridiculous inside jokes we had, the jokes we've shared and the crazy nights we've had together. I will forever cherish those.

Just know I don't hate you. Even though I've tried (as awful as that sounds) I can't bring myself to hate you. I will always love you and I will always care about you, even though I know you don't think that now. I would never wish anything negative upon you because what goes around comes around right?

I love you and I wish you well in life.

Love,

Your Ex Best Friend