To the woman who gave birth to me:
Hi. Hey. How are you? This is super weird, but I'm going to go for it. How have you been in the last 16 years? I just thought I'd write you this letter to say thank you. Thank you for performing the ultimate sacrifice to better my life. I've had a great time with my adoptive family; they're the best. You were absolutely right to give me up. Was it a hard decision? I hope it was. I believe it was, at least. I think it'd be a hard decision if I were in that situation. Did you ever hold me? Did it make your choice harder?
Sometimes when it's late at night and I can't sleep, I think about you. I wonder where you are and what you're doing and I wonder if you think of me, too. I wonder if I look like you. I wonder if I sound like you, act like you, smile like you. I wonder if you have a family now. You probably do, which is fine, because I have one too. I have two awesome parents and two awesome sisters.
I live a world away from you now—around 4,000 miles away. That's crazy. I live in a beautiful little farm town where I have met some of the greatest people in existence. I attend college in a wonderful location where I have met some equally great people. My life has been full of laughter, travel, love, joy, and most importantly, security. I have a roof over my head and a bed to call my own each night.
I have been so blessed in my life since I was adopted. I wanted you to know that. I'm doing really well. I'm happy, healthy, and thriving. I have had millions of opportunities presented to me that I wouldn't have had without you believing in a better life for me. It's wild how one choice in our lives can change someone else's life so dramatically. You realize that you changed my life, right? Apart from giving birth to me, you gave me a fighting chance in this world. Because of you and your bravery, I did not have to grow up on the streets. I wasn't in that orphanage for very long. I don't have any lasting mental scars.
I want to ask you a favor. Someday, when your kids are older, I want you to tell them about me. I don't know the situation of my conception, whether it was intentional or not or if the memories are painful, but I want you to try. Tell them you were once young and pregnant. Tell them about the daughter you gave birth to, the one who shares your name now. When your kids ask questions, answer them. They might end up knowing more about me than I do, but that's okay. I want them to. I want them to know they have a half-sibling out there somewhere.
Our paths will never cross. I will never look you up. I believe that door was shut 18 years ago when we left each other's lives for good. I am happy with my life now. I have no desire to bring up the past. I don't know if it will get sticky. I like my life the way it is now, and I will forever choose to remain in the dark about you. It's best for everyone.
But I wanted you to know that I appreciate you. I appreciate your bravery and willingness to do what most women can't. Your sacrifice allowed me to live the best life possible. I love my adoptive family more than anything, and I have you to thank for bringing us together. Everything happens for a reason, doesn't it? I think so.
Have a good life, you deserve it. I deserve one too. Everyone deserves the best life possible. I hope you've found happiness, because I certainly have.
Sincerely,
The girl you gave birth to
