Dear High School Self,
This is your college self. Although it only has been about a year since I was in your shoes, walking down those halls surrounded by rows and rows of lockers and the hustle and bustle of over 2,000 students, there is so much that I want to tell you. So much has changed over these past months, some good and some bad but that is to be expected because hey, that's life. I can only imagine that this time last year your biggest dilemma was choosing where you were going to spend the next four years of your life (no pressure or anything) and how you were going to style your hair for prom. Issues like these were so minor compared to the problems you will face this upcoming year. Lessons were learned and mistakes were made but that is what life is all about.
It's time to be real with you. As the months dwindle down and the countdown starts for move-in day you are going to feel an impending nervousness and anxiousness (this feeling will not go away until your second week of being on campus). You begin to think about what you're leaving behind and even though you are only gone for a few months here and there, you begin to question if you made the right choice. You think about your friends, parents, coaches, and even pets and cannot even fathom the idea of being without them for more than a few days. It becomes too real when you find yourself packing up your room and going shopping for dorm supplies. You'll spend time going through photos to take with you to school and putting together collages to hang up in your new room to give your room a more homey feel. It'll slowly start sinking in when you begin to say goodbye to your friends and they hold on to you a few seconds longer than normal and start tearing up because you've never been without each other for an extended period of time. But let me tell you it won't hit you until you are all moved in up at school and you're hugging your parents goodbye and you watch them drive away when everything hits you. You're going to cry. You're going to cry so much because you miss home and everyone there. The first two weeks will be the worst two weeks you'll experience. But trust me, the sadness goes away, you'll meet and be surrounded by an amazing group of individuals who care for you. Give yourself time, don't let those thoughts of wanting to go home consume you because it gets better. It gets so much better.
Schoolwork. All I can really say about this is please enjoy how easy you have it right now. Your occasional presentation and paper are nothing compared to what is to come. You will feel blindsided when you get up here. There will be weeks where you have very little work and your classes seem easy enough. But then there will be weeks where you have a group project, 3 papers, 2 exams, and 4 books to read all within days of each other. Now during the fall semester, you will handle all this work with very few issues but spring semester you will lack the motivation and drive to do any of this. Oh, but you'll do it all, you will just stress yourself out and stay up all night studying and typing away furiously on your keyboard. Bottom line is: be prepared for a work load so sporadic and heavy and do not procrastinate as much.
Friends. You'll find a lot up here, in your dorm, on the team, in class, etc. Then there's going to be a group of friends (squad) that you spend all of your time with, you eat meals together, go to practice together, go to class together, study together, hang out/go out together. These people are your life-lines, they are always down to order a pizza at 2 a.m., they are there to hold you while you sob over a boy that broke your heart,they are even there to hold your hair back after some rough nights, and they are there for your (many) rants and mental breakdowns. You know these people will always be down to curl up with some blankets, watch some netflix, and talk about anything and everything with you. These are your persons (Grey's Anatomy reference, don't worry it's the best show ever, you'll see). Appreciate them. They will make your life way more interesting and better than you could have imagined.
This first year of college will challenge you. Mentally, Physically (running cross and track, duh) and emotionally. You will deal with levels of stress that you never endured before but you will get through it. It is important for you to know that when things get tough, you'll get tougher (Momma didn't raise no quitter,remember). With you currently being in a relationship, it is hard to imagine how being alone feels. It is fine. Things change and you will need time for yourself. You need to prioritize and put yourself before everyone else. It will be okay to be a little selfish and to put your own feelings first. Stop caring about everyone else's feelings before your own. Just because you have a big heart does not mean that others have a heart like yours. Trying to make everyone happy all the time will drain you completely. You are your number one.
So, what I'm leaving with you is this, enjoy yourself. As you slip on your 4-inch heels and dance the night away with your friends at prom, as you walk down the halls of your high school for the last time, and as you take that diploma and throw up your cap with the people you have spent the past four plus years with please cherish these moments and don't take them for granted. Appreciate mom and dad (and family) and all that they do for you because you will miss them so much and even though they are a call away it still is not the same. Stay in contact with all your friends from home and check in on them because although your life may be busy their life is too. Have fun and be prepared for a life changing and spectacular year ahead of you. I believe in you and know you can do it.
Sincerely,
Your College Self