A Letter to a Parentless Child,

Hey, I am one of you. You can trust me, I promise. If this letter applies to you, let me start off by saying I’m sorry. Really I am. Know that we are or will be in the same place, trust me. I know. I know that you think that the world is changed forever and believe me. It is. But there are more of us than you think. We are out there in your classrooms and walking down the street. There are far more of us in this world than there deserves to be. Look around, we want to help you.

You don’t deserve this. Believe me, nobody does. No matter what happened, it wasn’t your fault, I swear. People will be mean to you, I’m sorry, but it’s true. You will lose friends and it will hurt really bad, but you will get through it. There will be people there for you though, and they will love you through this. You will become stronger than you ever imagined. It will be tough to get out of bed, but you will do it. Maybe not at first, but you will.

People will think they know what you’re feeling. They don’t and that is okay. There are resources for you. Use them. People want to help you. Read books and ask for help. I know that you want to shut everything out and feel numb and that’s okay. It is a temporary solution, but one day you will feel and want help. Reach out for it.

The funeral will be tough. Go to it anyway, or don’t. The choice is yours and don’t let anyone tell you differently. You may have very little control over your life right now. But you have more control than you think. Take control over what you can.

Don’t lash out at people. Please, this is important. It feels like no one cares about you and that you’re all alone. But you aren’t. People do care and want to help. Don’t be mean to them. I know that I personally am very sorry to those I hurt while I was hurting. Prevent that.

Don’t be afraid to live your life. Don’t feel guilty to be alive. Your parent wants you to be happy even though they aren’t there. Make them proud.

Know that you are incredibly strong. You have your work cut out for you, but you can do it. Don’t be afraid to feel. Everyone grieves differently. When your emotions come, and they will, listen to them. Follow your intuition and do what needs to be done (as long as it is safe to do).

Celebrate your parent. Some days are much tougher, like anniversaries and birthdays. Don’t be sad, memorialize them. They are always with you in your heart.

Please know that you will be happy again. Maybe not for a very long time, but you will. You will know that something is different, but one day you will smile and laugh again and you will know that everything is going to be okay.

2 years ago today, I became a parentless child and my life turned upside down. Some days are tough. But other days are better. Sometimes I even laugh. I miss my dad more than anything and everyday I wish that he was here. But I am and I live my life one day at a time. Grief never goes away, but it changes. Soon you’ll have more good days than bad days and you’ll be able to breathe better. It is going to be tough but my promise to you is that you’ll be okay.

Love,

Another grieving child A Friend