To My Future Husband,

Every morning when I wake up, the first thought that crosses my mind is you. It’s never about what I’ll have for breakfast or about how bad I need to pee or how getting up will disturb my cat that is nestled so sweetly beside me. The first thought I have is about how many more days it’ll be until I can see you every morning when I wake up instead of just thinking about you.

As my day goes on, I want to share every little detail of it with you. I know that it would be ridiculous to tell you about the cute stray cat that lives on campus or about how my downstairs neighbors are smoking pot again or about how I decided to wear mismatched socks again today. Yet I yearn to be able to do just that. I never do, though. I worry about bugging you too much. I worry that I’ll say too many stupid things and that I’ll finally annoy you out of wanting to marry me someday.

You make me thankful each and every day for what I have. A year ago I was depressed. I was lonely. I was on edge all the time. I was stuck in a constant spin cycle of emotions. People were getting tired of me being lethargic and sad. My friends were annoyed by my lack of energy, my lack of wanting to do anything with them. I was annoyed too, but I couldn’t climb out of the hole I’d dug for myself.

I know that sometimes I can be difficult. I argue with you over the stupidest things. I pick on you like there’s no tomorrow. Sometimes I make you angry and sometimes I make you sad. I promise I don’t mean to.

After all this time, there are so many reasons I am thankful for having you in my life. This letter will not even begin to cover every reason, but I hope it will at least make you smile.

Thank you for wanting to be with me. Our first date was awkward to say the least. I wasn’t sure if you even wanted a second date until you said something about it. All I could do was ask stupid questions that really didn’t pertain to getting to know you at all. Thank you for taking charge of that date eventually because I think we’ve landed in a pretty great place so far.

Thank you for holding my hand everywhere we go. This may seem like such a trivial thing to be happy for. I am thankful for our fingers clasping together tightly as we walk through stores or even just watching a movie in our bedroom.

Thank you for taking me on adventures. I’d never loved the outdoors as much as I do now. I look forward to the beautiful weather so that we can go for walks on trails, go fishing (even though I will probably never catch anything), sit on the old train bridge that I love so much and just enjoy each other’s company in the great outdoors!

Thank you for making me feel beautiful. I have always been uncomfortable about my appearance and my weight. It’s been a constant struggle to find myself pretty in any way at all. Through your repeated reminders I am starting to be more comfortable in my own skin. I know sometimes I argue with you about it, but some day I’ll get to where I need to be. I’ll be happy about myself in no time at all.

Thank you for taking care of me. Thank you for buying me a rice pack to help my shoulder when it swells up. Thank you for making me tea when I have cramps. Thank you for giving me allergy medication when my eyes start to water and I can’t stop sneezing. Thank you for buying me ice cream or Cracker Barrell or whatever else I want at the time.

Thank you for loving each and every one of my flaws. You tell me I don't have any, but I do. Sometimes I trip over my own feet. Sometimes I eat food I shouldn't and it makes me sick. Sometimes I tickle you too much. Sometimes I'm annoying. There's a lot of them, but you love me and you love my flaws.

Thank you for wanting to be with me for the rest of our lives. I know we aren’t there yet. Who knows when we will be there. But you are my future. And I have never been so thankful before.